Dear place name here
by SakuraSagura
Summary: Skaii lives in a dying world where imagination is illegal!In order to save her world she decides to bring various FMA characters into it.Can Ed and Al and co. save this crazy place while responding to fanmail or die trying? Read to find out!
1. Chapter 1

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST

Dear (place name here)

BY: SAKURA SAGURA

Disclaimer: Really, who on this site could own the rights to Fullmetal Alchemist? I know for sure I don't… cries No fair!

Alphonse looked around the pale blue room. He was sitting in a black leather chair that was beside a similar chair where Edward was snoozing away. He looked up to see a finely polished wooden desk with the back of a teal-blue lazy boy behind it. He could hear a voice from the lazy boy.

" Yeah their here… No… Hahahahaha! That's a good idea! I'll have to use it! Uh…. Sure I guess I could… Okay thanks Mimi… Yeah, talk to you later. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye-bye…Bye. BYE ALREADY!" Al saw an arm slam the phone down. Then the chair turned around.

" …Hello, do you know where we are?" Al asked the girl. She had curly dark blue hair that went down to her shoulders, teal-blue eyes that matched the chair perfectly, a light tan, and she wore what looked light a black and white Japanese school uniform with gray sneakers. The girl smiled at Al while she stood up and held out her hand.

"Nice to meet you Alphonse! You can call me Skaii Shii.(A/N that's my name in this fic pronounced as 'Sky She')" Skaii smiled, her hand still out stretched. Al suddenly realized this and shook her hand.

" It's nice to meet you, I guess… But Skaii, where are we?" Al asked meekly, letting go of her hand. Skaii sat on the edge of her desk trying to warm up her hand.

" In my office." She replied smiling at the very confused Al.

"… Are you in the military?" Al asked wondering if she was another prodigy like Ed. Then looking at Ed (who was drooling and had his stomach out), whose chair had some how become a sofa; Al wondered how Ed was ever considered a prodigy… " You seem awful young to be in the military though…"

" Haha! You think I'm in the military? That's hilarious!" Skaii started laughing. This however only made Al more confused.

" So…? Your not?" Al scooted back a little in his chair. Ed lazily sat up a bit dazed.

" Alphonse are we in Central yet?" Ed asked rubbing his eyes. Skaii instantly stopped laughing to view Ed. Al didn't even know and Skaii wasn't telling him very much.

" Your in my office!" Skaii said cheerfully. Ed looked up at the unfamiliar voice. He stared for a bit before looking around the room.

" Al, how'd we get here? And who is she?" Ed asked looking at Al. Last time he knew, he'd fallen asleep on the train. Al shrugged,

" All I know is that her name is Skaii Shii." They both looked at where Skaii had been sitting… but she wasn't there.

" Where'd she go? She was just here!" Ed exclaimed and ran to check behind the desk. No one was there, so he looked in the drawers while Al looked at the wall behind the chairs.

" EDWARD!" Al shouted. Ed stood up, jumped over the desk, and ran past the chairs.

" What is it?" He asked once he was standing by his brother. Al pointed to the wall. Ed studied the area. It had several framed photographs on the pale blue wall, a small desk in the right corner with pens and pencils spread across it, something that looked like a radio and book had fused, books and papers, and a small aquarium that could be considered death row for fish. On the left side was a bookshelf that was crammed full of books with the oddest titles such as Inuyasha a feudal fairy tale, D.N.Angel, Flame of Recca, Fruits Baskets, Love Hina, and strangely enough… Fullmetal Alchemist.

-This scene was cut cause I was unable to write their hilarious faces-

Ed stepped forward and took out one of the books. He read the words out loud, "Viz Media… action… Fullmetal Alchemist, story and art by Hiromu Arakawa, 3…" Ed flipped through the pages while Al looked over his shoulder (which wasn't hard considering the height distance). " I can't believe this…" Ed said with disbelief. Al stared at the page Ed was on. The art was finely detailed and looked almost exactly like them. Although in his opinion, Ed looked more evil like and possibly shorter.

" I know what you mean." Al said reading the newly flipped to page. " This is creepy though… I mean how'd they do this? I'm so confused!" Al whimpered/yelled and grabbed his head. Ed glared at the panels.

" I WON THAT FIGHT! THAT FRICK'N MUSTANG DIDN'T!" Ed yelled at the book. Playing with the idea to rip the page into a billion pieces. Then he paused and looked at the next page… "EEEEEEEEEEEWWWW!" Ed dropped the book and started to rub his eyes like crazy. " My eyes! They BURN!" Al picked up the book. He turned to the page and froze.

"GYAAAAAAAH!" Al then dropped the book and proceeded to run around the tiny room like a crazed chicken that lost its head. " I can't see! Brother help!" Al cried. That was more of granny Pinako then they ever wanted to see…

" I leave the room for 5 minutes and this is what happens." Skaii bent down and picked up the discarded book. " You bent it too." She said unhappily glaring at the crumpled pages. She sighed and the book looked as good as new.

" Ahh… my eyes…" Ed whimpered while he lay in a tight bundle on the floor. Al was rubbing his eyeholes on the helmet with a handkerchief. Skaii placed the book back in its place. Next thing Ed knew he was on the sofa again and Al was in his chair.

"What just…?" Al asked no one in particular. Ed looked around pretty freaked out. Skaii was watching them attentively.

" Well," Ed stood up brushing off his rumpled red coat. " We should probably be going now…" Ed turned his head this way and that. Skaii placed her feet on top of her desk and looped her hands behind her head watching the alchemist struggle.

" Uh, brother. What I was trying to tell you earlier was…" Al started but was cut off by Ed.

" Where's the DOOR?" Ed grabbed his head and bawled. Al sweat dropped and covered his face with one hand and said,

" There isn't one… that's what I was trying to tell you." Al sighed and glanced at Skaii. She just gave him a 'what?' face.

"Fine then…" Ed said triumphantly smiling, clapping his hands. " If there isn't a door then make your own!" he slammed his hands on the pale blue wall. A flash of light made Skaii and Al cover up their eyes. "Ah ha! Come on Al lets go!" Ed grabbed the wooden handle; Al got up and ran to Ed, Skaii just sat there watching. This seemed odd to Al, why wasn't she stopping them? She didn't even say anything… oh well as long as he got out of here he didn't care. Once the door was opened Ed started to run threw it, only to fall back on his butt.

" Brother, are you okay?" Al asked helping his startled brother up. Skaii scooted her chair over a bit to see what had happened. Ed had made a door sure enough, but in that door was another.

" What the hell?" Ed gawked at the next door. It was a dark green steel door with a brass handle. He pulled the door open.

" Edward how many doors did you make?" Al asked pulling a straw door open. And still there was another door.

" I only planned on making one." Ed muttered. This time an old wooden door that looked like if some one were to touch it, it would collapse stood in front of them. This one's handle was on the left unlike the doors before. " Well," Ed sighed gripping the splintering handle, " There's bound to be something on the other side of these stupid doors." Al nodded and turned back to Skaii, who was happily munching on some popcorn.

" Aren't you going to stop us?" Al asked. Skaii shrugged as she watched Ed fling open a paper door, accidentally ripping it out.

" Whoops… You weren't using this right?" Ed asked a bit overwhelmed. Skaii shook her head. " Of course you weren't." Ed continued to open doors this way and that.

" Here brother let me." Al walked over and opened a 10in brick door to the side. " Brother, I think we should tear off some of these opened doors." Ed waved his hand that Al could pretty much tell meant 'yeah, go ahead'. Al ripped off the 25 or so doors they had already gone threw and dumped them by the smaller desk. Ed sat down and looked at Skaii.

" So when we make it through you'll let us go? Just like that?" He asked whipping sweat off his face.

" I'm not stopping you now am I?" Skaii asked as she watched Al open a chrome door. Ed thought about that. She wasn't was she? Maybe there was something bad on the other side.

" No, I guess not." Ed said taking off his coat and laying it on the sofa's edge. Just then something ice-cold and wet fell onto Ed, who jumped up with a yelp, the yelp causing Al to accidentally break a door in two as he turned around. " What the hell was that?" He cried glaring at Skaii. She was leaning over the back of the sofa with a bottle of water in hand.

" You were sweating." She stated simply. Ed glared at her anger marks appearing on his now drenched head.

" SO YOU POURED WATER ON ME!" Ed yelled at Skaii who, to Ed's surprise, wasn't there anymore. " Skaii?" Ed looked around.

" Al, here take a rest okay." Skaii moved Al aside and pulled, what looked like a mini garage door, up. Al walked over to his shivering brother and sat down.

" Are you sure we should be letting HER open them?" Ed spat. Al glanced at Skaii who was now opening what looked like a jail cell door.

"Not really, but she doesn't seem evil at all. Maybe we can trust her…" Al whispered. Ed glared at Skaii's back.

" I can't believe this…" Ed mumbled. Al looked over at him.  
" Neither can I. I mean we were just on our way to Central and some how we ended up here." Al said tiredly. " We've barley been here and already everything seems… strange."

" That's not what I meant."

" Huh? Then what did you mean?"

" Skaii."

" Yeah I'll admit she's definitely unusual. Like things just pop up out of no where and the door thing and the book and-"

" No. I'm not talking about that…"

" Then what are you talking about?"

" How old does she look to you?"

" How old?" Now Al was lost. It seemed like Ed didn't care about any of the abnormal things, just how old Skaii was. Then it hit him. Skaii was at least an inch or two taller then Ed. This had happened with Russell. " Uh, she looks like she's about…" Al tried to think of an age older than Edward that Skaii's looks could fit in to.

" I was thinking about 17 or 18…" Ed's eyes stared directly at Al. Making it even harder for him to lie.

" I'm 14." Came Skaii's voice. They looked upward. She was sitting there, Indian style, on the back edge of the sofa.

" Really?" Al asked Skaii, hoping for his brother she was older.

" Yep! I just turned 14 last week!" Skaii smiled. Ed fell over with little moans of 'noooooooooooo!' every now and then.

" Then you're the same age as me." Al said trying to keep Skaii from talking to Ed too much. " Though I'll be 15 soon."

" Really? Cool. So, Ed's 16 and you and I are 14. That works out nicely." Skaii leaned back and rolled off the sofa.

" Skaii! Are you okay?" Al asked abruptly standing up. She wasn't there.

" Leave me alone!" Ed ordered. Al looked down; Skaii was poking Ed's side while he was curled up in a ball.

" Tell me what's wrong and I'll let you pout." Skaii continued to poke Ed. Al sighed and went to go pull some more doors.

" No way!" Ed muffled yell sounded awfully ticked.

" Come on what could be so bad?"

" You're lying about your age…" Ed peeked over his black sleeve.

" Oh. I forgot about that. Sorry, I'm not lying. You just need to learn that there are some people out there taller then you. Even some that are younger." Skaii couldn't quite make out what was said next, but it sounded as though he had used a few colorful words. " You want me shorter then you right?"

" I'm NOT SHORT!" Ed sat up swiftly.

" She didn't say that brother." Al called over his shoulder. Skaii smiled, and then for no real reason at all she started to giggle. Ed and Al stared at her.

" What the hell is so amusing?" Ed asked a bit taken back. She calmed down a bit and said,

" I love it when you do that!" Skaii chuckled a bit before completely calming down.

" Okay then miss crazy…" Ed said to himself. Al went back to opening doors. Skaii stood up and asked,

" Ed, want some coffee? And Al, would you like some oil?" Skaii walked over to her desk and lifted some papers.

" No thank you." Al said politely. How'd she know he was empty? Maybe she didn't and she just heard his armor creek or something.

" Why would I want coffee from you?" Ed spat standing up and frowning at her.

" Because I use all of my water on you."

" So now you're going to pour coffee on me?"

" No, it's for you to drink. And I wouldn't pour coffee on anyone intentionally."

" I know that."

" Then why'd you ask?"

" Because I don't trust you."

" You're kind of rude aren't you?"

" Shut up."

" You can't make me."

" Want to bet?"

" Why? You and I both know you'll lose."

" Yeah right, what gave you that idea?" Ed asked angrily. Al thought that Skaii and Edward could go on arguing for hours. Skaii stood there, facing Ed, hands on her hips. And an idea came to her mind, one that would enrage Ed.

" What gives me that idea you ask? Well for one thing you're so short that even if you stood on a chair you couldn't reach my mouth." Skaii said this so matter-of-factly that Al though she could give Roy a run for his money. Just as Skaii had predicted Ed was ticked.

"WHOAREYOUCALLINGSOSHORTTHATEVENIFHEHADACHAIRTOSTANDONHECOULDN'TREACHYOURMOUTH!" Ed howled and waved his arms around in the air.

" Brother she didn't… No wait, she did say that, okay then never mind." Al went back to his work. He open a duck framed door and the next door was a plain wooden one that had a note on it. "Brother look!"

" You got to the other side?" Ed ran over ecstatic to get out. Al shook his head and pointed to the door's note.

" A note. See?" Al stepped away so Ed could open the doors. The note said 'You'. Ed opened the door and the next one said 'are'.

" 'You are'? Ed keep opening doors." Al said keeping the words in mind. The next one said 'almost', the next door was 'there', and the next '!'.

" 'You are almost there!' Really? Great we'll finally be getting out of this place!" Ed grinned and opened the door it had the word 'Ha' on it. The next few doors spelled out 'Hahahahaa! I can't believe you fell for that,' Now Ed and Al were mad as heck.

" I can't believe this!" Al yelled, " They just go on and on and on and on and on and on and on!"

" What kind of idiot did this…" Ed spat out like he was dying to break something. " We've probably gone through 1,000 doors! And we're not even a foot into the wall!" This was true. No matter how many doors they went through, no matter how thick, they had barely made any progress! Al turned around to look for Skaii. She was gone… and so were the doors.

" Brother, look at that door." Al said grimly.

" Yeah, so what. It's just another stupid door. " Ed asked disgusted and not wanting to look at anymore doors for a long time after this.

" Look at the design." Al said. Ed studied it. It was simple, a pale blue door, with a bit of fine decoration on the rims, and…

" THIS IS THE DOOR I MADE!" Ed yelled. This did not make any sense what so ever.

" Hold on, hold on. Lets just open the door and see the next word. This last one had a comma so there must be a word on the next one." Al said hopefully. Ed sighed and walked over to his coat. He put it on as he was walking back to Al.

" Got everything?" Al asked as Ed gripped the handle. Ed nodded and got ready for whatever was on the next door. Ed flung it open and stared at it. Al placed his hand over his armor face and groaned. Of all the words they could of chosen they had to be…

" I'M NOT AN 'INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE BEAN'!" Ed shouted actually breaking down the door. The note had the words ' you insignificant little bean' written on it. And underneath the writing was a drawing of Ed under a magnify glass sitting on a bean. Al's hand fell to his side as he looked through the doorway. Ed was sitting on his butt, on top of the door, staring at something. Al scrunched his way through the doorway. And when he entered the room he fell to his butt too.

"Brother… this is the same room." Al gasped looking around. Skaii was on the phone with her feet on the table.

" Really? Letters, you think? … All right… Yeah I know… Okay love you mom… bye." She hung up the phone and gazed at the overwhelmed brothers. " I suppose you want to know why you're here, right?" Skaii placed her feet on the ground and leaned forward, placing her chin on her hands, smiling.

" WHAT DO YOU THINK?" Ed yelled clenching his fists. Al sighed. His brother wasn't ever going to learn manners, was he?

" Okay Mr. Rude I'll tell you." Skaii smiled, " I'll be blunt. You have fans, which of course would like to send you stuff such as letters and gifts. I'm not saying I won't accept fans giving you gifts, but I'm hoping they'll send letters."

" That was not blunt." Al cringed at what his brother might be thinking.

" Well I wasn't done." Skaii stood up and glimpsed at them for a moment. " I'm just giving your fans the chance to write to you and get feedback that's all. Oh, and no time that you spend here will be taken from your daily lives."

" What?" Ed had one of his famous 'what are you talking about' expressions.

" The fans need to review for me to know what to ask. I'll simply read the letter to you and you'll respond. Although, I don't mind how many times your fans review, as long as each time they give me a letter it only has 5 or less questions." Skaii ate some of the cupcake that magically appeared and waited. Ed and Al weren't sure if she was talking to them anymore... " So anyway, the rules are as followed: review in letter form, ask 5 or less questions, no strong language, ask anyone from FMA and they'll be here unless I can't find them. Oh, and keep little signs and face expressions out of the letter. And if this goes well I'll invite 1… maybe 2 guests to come and talk with us." Skaii bowed to the nice people reading this. " Okay that's all bye-bye."

" No wait! SKAII!" Al shouted as the room started to change.

" Great." Ed whined, " We'll never get out of here."

Skaii: Woo hoo! 1 down how many letters we get to go!

Ed: Please shut up.

Same time

Al: Please review.

Skaii: Aw, they both said please. Well, you heard them. I won't post the next chapter till I get some reviews.

Al: It is equivalent exchange…

Ed: Yeah. You read this stupid story and review and you get more… Wait a second… That's not equivalent exchange!

Skaii: Yes it is! Please review. You're aloud to tick off these people as much as you want!

Al and Ed: Don't believe her!

Skaii: See you next time!


	2. Chapter 2

**Dear (place name here)**

**Chapter 2**

**By Sakura Sagura**

* * *

Disclaimer… Ed: You don't own us. 

Skaii: I don't own you… really?

Ed and Al: Can we leave yet?

Skaii: Hmm… Nope.

Al: Please!

Ed: You don't own us so you can't keep us!

Skaii: That won't stop me!

Ed and Al: GET AWAY!

- Page is ripped off- _thoughts _"spoken"

* * *

Ed was lying on his stomach, drooling a bit, on a cushy train seat. He rolled over onto his side and inhaled deeply. He had had the weirdest dream! He and his brother had met the most peculiar girl. Who was able to make things out of thin air and had eerie books… that lied! Then he had tried to escape by making a door, but somehow there had been 100s after it! Once they finally got through they ended up in an identical room! The girl, Skaii Shii, started talking gibberish, the room started changing, and next thing he knew he was on the train again. _Should I tell Al?_ Ed sat up and scratched his head. 

" Morning sleepy Ed!" That was not Al's voice… Ed was afraid to look.

" GAAACK!" He jumped back when he saw who was sitting across from him.

" How was your nap? I wish I could take naps… But I'm always so busy." Skaii opened a little reddish-brown box and handed Ed something he didn't recognize. It was an egg-shaped, light green, thing. He stared at it.

" What is that?" Ed glanced up at Skaii, who was popping one into her mouth.

" Tic-tac." Skaii said with her hand still held out.

" That doesn't tell me much."

" It freshens your breath. You don't want bed-breath do you?"

" I'll try it." Ed took it and examined it in his fingers. " You didn't poison it did you?"

" Yeah Ed I did." Skaii watched as Ed dropped it and scooted away from her. Well, he could only go left or right… " I was joking. What kind of sick twisted hostess would I be if I poisoned you?"

" You mean you aren't sick and twisted?" Ed asked innocently. This however, only got him a smack on the head. " That really doesn't help, you know." Ed muttered as head rubbed the bump he had gotten.

" Oh, brother you're awake!" Al said as he stopped beside the seat, holding a tray full of food.

" Thank you. Alphonse, why are we the only ones with good manners?" Skaii asked taking the tray of food and set it on the counter that had appeared. Al sat down next to Ed.

" I don't know for sure." He looked at Ed, who was glaring at Skaii. _We were both raised the same way. Maybe Ed had an accident…_

" I think he had an accident too." Skaii muttered to herself. Luckily no one heard her. " Well, Al was kind enough to fetch us some food, so lets eat!" Skaii grabbed some chopsticks and a piece of crab. Ed got his chopsticks and grabbed more than enough for his 7½ stomachs. Al gingerly took a small sardine and stuck it into his armor.

"MEOOW!"

" Al, what was that?" Ed asked after chocking on some corn bread. Al scooted back a bit.

" Nothing! I was uh…" Al seemed lost for words.

" Meow meow. I like kitty cats!" Came from in side of Al. They both gawked at Al's abdomen area.

" Al… did you pick up a cat or what?" Ed asked as he gaped at him. Al couldn't speak, he was sure he had picked up a cat on the train.

" What d'you mean 'or what'?" The voice asked angrily. Whoever was inside started hammering on Al. " I can't breathe!" The two brothers started freaking out long before they got around to helping…

-5 min later-

" Thanks guys, I though I'd be stuck in you forever." Skaii said leaning on the window.

" How'd you get inside me?" Al asked a bit startled. Ed was sitting on the seat across from Skaii, glaring, and positively ticked. She shrugged and closed her eyes. Ed looked out the window. It was already late afternoon. The countryside was out of the ordinary though. Ed leaned over to see what he was hoping wasn't there.

" ALPHONSE LOOK!" Ed shouted as his stomach felt butterflies make themselves at home. Al looked out the window at the scenery.

" WHAT ON EARTH!" Now it was Al's turn to get a visit from some butterflies. The sky was a light cerulean with small emerald dotted clouds that shadowed the landscape. The orange-yellow colored oversize blades of grass must have been at least 6in wide and 3 feet tall, the trees had floral designs across them, and the leaves looked like they had words printed on them. They could see tall jagged buildings in the distance with colored smoke coming from the tops, but aside from that, there was nothing that looked populated.

" Al," Ed started, getting a hold on himself. Al glanced at his brother a bit shaken.

" What is it brother?" Al asked as he saw something trying to catch up with the train.

" I don't think we're in Amestris anymore." Right after Ed was done talking Al quickly open the window, caught something, and close the window. Ed, who had fallen on the floor, stood up and glared at Al. " What was that for?"

" Look at it." Al opened his hands. A small blonde bird, with a note tied to its foot, was catching its breath. The bird perked up its leg for Ed to take the note off.

Dear Edward,

Do us all a favor and water balloon Mustang. Better get on with da questions.

Will you go out with me?

Who do you hate the most? Envy or Roy?

Will you go out with me?

Do you like ice cream?

That's all. Bbl,

Minimuffin

The boys reread it again and again. Skaii leaned over and snatched the note.

" Weren't you sleeping?" Ed asked trying to get the note back. Al scooted over so she didn't have to sit with Ed. Skaii sat down and smiled handing the note to Ed.

" Better answer your fan." She watched as the small bird jumped around in Al's large hands. Ed reread the letter.

" Why?" He asked blushing a little. Al handed the bird to Skaii.

" Its polite brother." Al said cheerfully.

" Fine I'll answer… No I won't go out with you. I don't even know who you are… Colonel Mustard and Palm tree are equally irritating. But Mustang hasn't tried to kill me… yet, so probably the cross-dressing palm tree."

" Careful, don't try to use big words. Your equally small brain might blow." Skaii laughed a little at the face she received.

" Shut up Skaii! For the last time Minimuffin I'm not going out with you… And why would I like ice cream? It's almost as bad as milk! Its like your eating frozen cow pee!" After hearing this Al and Skaii started laughing. " Thanks for the idea Minimuffin… I think I will water balloon Mustang." Ed said through clenched teeth trying to ignore them. _That is if I ever get away…_

" Ed, you need to flip the card over." Skaii said rubbing the bird's tummy.

" Do this do that! Am I the only one who does anything around here?" He flipped the card over.

Dear Havoc,

I need help convincing that 4kids is evil and do you have playboy magazines cause' you act like it.

Sailor N

" What is this Sailor talking about? We haven't seen Havoc in ages." Ed asked frustrated. Skaii took out the reddish-brown box and opened it, grabbed at something and pulled.And out came Havoc.

" WHAAAAAAAAAAA!" Ed and Al shouted and jumped back as Havoc fell to the floor.

"Where am I?" Havoc sat on the floor holding his head.

" On a train going to Yams." Skaii said rummaging around in the box. Havoc glanced at Ed and Al. When Havoc came out of the box Ed had jumped into the hall, Al had jumped, slipped on a piece of fallen food, and fell on top of Ed, and Al was now hunching over Ed trying to wake him up.

" Uh huh," Havoc stood up and brushed himself off. He looked over Skaii, _Is her hair really blue? I wonder how she did that? Wait, where am I again? How did I start thinking about her hair? Am I going insane- oh, look cornbread!_ Havoc walked over to the abandoned table and began eating. " Yum! So where am I again?"

" On a train to Yams." Skaii said pulling out two new letters. " Here we go! I can't believe I got 4 letters already." Skaii shut the box, stood up, took the letter, and walked over to the hungry Havoc. " Here this is for you."

" A letter?" Havoc took it and read it over. Skaii snapped her fingers and the food disappeared.

" Can you answer the letter or not?" Skaii said annoyed. She needed to hurry things up.

" Uh… sure." Havoc reread the letter and cleared his throat. " I have no idea what '4kids' is. If it's a charity forget it, I mean what have kids ever done for me? Those stupid rascals in Central went and spray-painted my new car and-" Skaii tapped Havoc on the shoulder.

" This no time to take your anger out on a fan. 4kids is a company that takes good TV and babies it up." Skaii turned around and went to go get her box.

" I knew that…" Havoc muttered. " Forget what I just said… Playboy magazine huh? I have no idea what that is. (A/N: Remember, they don't know anything about our world) But if you want a date I'll be happy to go out with you…" Havoc grinned doing his best to be charming, Skaii walked over with the reddish-brown box, raised it over Havoc's head, and stuffed him back in.

"I'm so sorry but that was just a little desperate Havoc." Skaii shut the box and walked over to Ed and Al.

" He isn't waking up!" Al cried as he waved a piece of turkey over Ed's nose. Skaii smiled at Al as he tried desperately flung the turkey nearly hitting Ed.

" Here let me." Skaii said grabbing a large green baby bottle out of thin air. Al watched intently as she gently pinched Ed's nose. Unable to breathe he opened his mouth, Al had no idea what Skaii was doing. " Maybe after you drink this you'll grow an inch…" Skaii giggled, stuck the bottle in his mouth, and squeezed. Ed instantly opened his eyes and flailed his limbs around. Al finally knew what was in the bottle-Ed's most hated liquid-milk. For some reason or another Ed couldn't get the bottle out of his mouth. The taste was killing him!

" Uh, Skaii if you don't stop he'll suffocate…" Al said worryingly as he tried to hold Ed from give Skaii a concussion.

" All gone." Skaii laughed and took the bottle out of poor Ed's mouth. Ed felt horrible. " See, that wasn't so bad was it?" Skaii smiled and stood up. Ed said something about a sadistic hostess before standing up, trembling all the way.

" Now arriving in Yams, I repeat now arriving in Yams." A computer like voice stated over the intercom.

" Yay! We're here!" Skaii hollered happily and ran to the door. " Are you two coming?" Skaii asked turning to see Ed sitting in his seat holding his stomach. Al was sitting across from him and trying to find away to make Ed feel better.

" No thanks," Ed growled, "I'll wait for the next stop." Al gave an apologetic face (as well as armor can).

" Are you sure? I think you two should come-" Skaii started but was cut off by Ed…

" Brother! Are you okay?" Al asked freaking out. Skaii covered her mouth careful that she might not throw up next.

" Al, go get a bucket! And hurry, there's one in the next car!" Skaii yelled as the doors closed; signally the train was leaving. _Great, now we're in for it! We needed to get of the train._ The train picked up speed and it was hard to stand. Poor Ed. Skaii made her way up the aisle only to slip in Ed's 'mess'. The light in the car went out and it was pitch black.

" I swear, when this is over I'm going to-" Ed tried to yell but just ended up barfing. Skaii felt violated, not only we're they pretty much going on death row, but now she had Ed's lunch on her nice new clothes…

* * *

Ed and Al: ……………… 

Skaii: Whoo hoo! All right, I made it!

Ed: You jerk! I can't believe you did that!

Al: …Yuck.

Skaii: Well, it needed to be done…

Ed: YOU MADE ME DRINK MILK!

Skaii: You made me loose our stop! We were supposed to get off! But no, you had to barf!

Al: Please send reviews, (A/N: I don't mind flames or compliments, just place them before or after the letter) I really want to know where this is going…

Ed: And the sooner the chapters come up the faster we can leave.

Skaii: They won't be leaving any time soon. Oh, thanks for the reviews! I'll get to the other letters later. Sorry if Havoc was kind of… I really wasn't expecting to get Havoc right away. Oh, and make sure the characters know what in the world you're talking about.

Ed: Kind of a blabber aren't you?

Skaii: Kind of short aren't you?

Al: I have barf on my foot…

Ed and Skaii: …Yuck.


	3. Chapter 3

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST

Dear (place name here)

CHAPTER 3

BY SAKURA SAGURA

Disclaimer…

Skaii: Ah! This is so much fun! I already have 5 reviews! (A/N: My first fanfic (I have more to be posted))

Ed: Grrr… Be quiet! I'm still trying to recover from last chapter…

Al: My foot still smells like vomit.

Skaii: For the first time… I'm actually glad I don't own you.

Ed and Al: SO WE CAN GO?

Skaii: No, I just wanted to see your reaction.

* * *

"Ew, my clothes." Skaii could feel the retched odor slither up her nostrils. (A/N: While I was writing this I could actually smell the vomit. No lie! Last chapter too.) She tried to move her body but the train was moving to fast. _Great, Al's not here, Ed's probably sticking to the chair, I have Ed's lunch on me, and we're all going to die! _Little anger marks appeared on Skaii's sweating head. _I hope Al's fairing well…_Mean while in car 5 

" Now where's that bucket?" Al asked himself as he looked around the perfectly ordinary car. As far as Al knew they were riding peacefully to where ever. He looked under a seat only to find that who ever had been sitting here earlier didn't like their gum. _I don't even want to know what this stuff is…_(A/N: They might know what gum is. All I know is that it was something 'new' in Europe after World War 2) He stood up and gazed about the room. Something had hit him. Where were the people? _This is weird. Even for here… Where ever 'here' is._ He took a few steps forward down the aisle. Al sighed. _Skaii must have been wrong, there isn't a bucket here._ He looked at the floor. There was a note the simply said.

Look up you fool!

" Rude little note…" Al grumbled but looked up anyway. On the ceiling was a case that had the words ' Open if a blonde midget is throwing up and you have no idea where you're train is going'. Al stared at the case. _Okay, I've seen a lot of weird things but that's just too weird._ Even so he didn't argue, he reached up and opened the case.

" WINNER! WINNER!" A voice yelled out of nowhere. Al jumped, confetti dropped out of the case along with the bucket.

" Who are you?" Al asked his voice quivering a little as he picked up the bucket.

" I am the train conductor, Rogger Welings (A/N: Roger Wellings)!" An old man then fell out of the small case nearly landing on Al. The man looked in his 60s, he wore a straw hat, small glasses, a white long sleeve shirt, a stripe blue and green pajama pants, and wooden clogs. Rogger held out his hand.

" Nice to meet you Mr. Welings." Al shook the old man's hand.

" Nice to meet you to m'lad."

" Alphonse, Alphonse Elric."

" Bond, James Bond."

" Who?"

" Forget it. Anyway, you're the first to open the case!"

" I see." Al let go of his hand. " What I win?"

" Nothing."

" 'Nothing'?"

" Yep."

" Then how am I the winner?"

" Well, you did win something."

" What is it?"

" My gratitude. I've been locked up in that case for a long time!"

" You have? Are you okay? How long?"

" 15-"

" 15 days! YOU POOR THING!"

" I was going to say minutes but that works too." The man laughed at Al, who was outright humiliated.

" Opps, but wait a second…" Al stared at the old man. Suddenly panic over flowed him. " If you're the train driver then who's driving?" Al asked and or cried, grabbing his helmet and nearly tearing it off. The man gave Al a stern look of total seriousness.

" Beats me! But I got to use the toilet!" Rogger chuckled as he walked past Al and grasped the handle of the door. Al picked up the bucket and walked to the door. If he were in his human body he'd probably be wetting his pants.

--Back with Skaii--

"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew." Skaii mumbled as the vomit sank deeper into her outfit. _This was new too!_ Skaii was angry and she felt sick. _I promise myself I'll never feed a passed out Ed milk when we're traveling on a train to Yams again._ Skaii tried to move her fingers but the weight was horrendous. Suddenly there was light. She strained to see. Next thing she knew there was a suit of armor on her left and a bucket on her right.

" Hi Skaii, I found the bucket!" Al said happily only to receive a glare from Skaii. " What? What did Ed do now?"

" You opened the case?" Skaii asked angrily. Al nodded. " Idiot! Not that bucket! The bucket!"

" Huh? What bucket? That was the only one!"

" Did you look EVERYWHERE?"

"…Maybe."

" You know what you did?"

" Got a bucket."

" You let out my-" Skaii didn't finish. All of a sudden the lights came on and the train stopped accelerating. Skaii was face down on the floor along with Al and the bucket. Al looked up at a light only to see Mr. Welings standing upside down holding a light bulb.

" Don't you hate it when bulbs burn out? All of this blubber happens then." The old man huffed and the bulb turned into a hamburger with extra cheese. Al stared at him.

" You do know you're upside down, right?" Al asked confused as ever. Mr. Welings stared at Al and Skaii.

" I was going to ask you the same thing." He smiled. Before Al knew what was going on, he fell and landed on the ceiling.

" Gaaak!" Ed fell from his seat next to Al.

" Yuck." Al scooted away an inch or two. Ed sat up and started wiping the yuckness off of his black jacket.

" And people ask why I hate milk…" Ed grumbled and looked around. They were on the ceiling and he made a mental note to expect anything at any time from now on. "…Say Al,"

" What is it brother?"

" Where are Skaii and that old man?" Unexpectedly the car flipped again and they both fell to the floor.

" Glad to see your all better!" Skaii smiled and snapped her fingers. Ed's clothes were all clean now, along with the rest of the place. Skaii's clothes were also different. She was wearing a aqua t-shirt that had the words in dark blue 'I'm with the bean', she had dark jeans on that looked had at least 15 pockets on each leg, and black shoes with the words in red 'Bean-squisher'. Ed wanted to kill Skaii but refrained. Instead he sat down and glared a powerful glare, a more powerful glare that he ever powerfully glared at anyone powerfully glaring... or something like that.

" This is Edward right?" Mr. Welings asked Skaii. She nodded and returned Ed's glare. Feeling left out Mr. Welings glared too. Al sweat dropped, _This is too strange._

" I know isn't it?" Skaii said as she stopped glaring to glance at Al and then the floor.

" Uh, yeah." Al needed to see some sanity soon or else.

" Well I need to take a poop, so see you." Mr. Welings disappeared in a puff of smoke.

" Okay then… How about some letters!" Skaii said blissfully as she pulled some out of nowhere. Instead of words she received two glares. " Fine then I'll read them to you."

Dear Ed,

I think that girl is crazy, and she has no right to call you short, (since your not) but she does have the right to tick you off. Question; what would you prefer, an auto mail with out a sword that looks like a real arm, or a auto mail with a sword that's just metal? Cause I can make you an auto mail (and it won't hurt, I have one myself, and I did it myself) that looks like a real arm.

Sincerely,

Lebragirl25

" What does she mean 'that girl is crazy'? I am not! And my name isn't 'that girl'! It is Skaii Shii!" Skaii flared her fists crunching the letter. Ed laughed, finally some pay back!

" That girl is crazy I agree. Your right, I am NOT short and that girl has no right to call me short!" Ed said triumphantly. Al sighed at his brother.

" What about the other half?" Al asked folding his arms. Ed thought for a moment.

" She doesn't have the right to tick me off!" Ed declared as Skaii started to sniggered and said,

" It doesn't take much Ed."

" Stuff it!"

" See?"

" I'm trying to answer my fan's question here!"

" Fine, go ahead."

" As I was saying… I don't think I want an auto mail arm that looks real. It be to hard. I mean, it look like my goal… How much do you coast? Winry makes me pay a fortune! She should be paying me with all the brain damage she could give me!"

" Well, that explains a few things…" Skaii whispered to Al. They both started to laugh. Ed did his best to ignore them.

" Maybe I'll come by for a tune up. Tell me the coast then I'll think about a new arm… You should challenge Winry." Ed did his best but there were still a few grumbled words.

" Nice job Edward." Skaii said clapping with Al. Ed glanced at them and blushed a bit. " Anyway here is the next one."

(Lol! I love this! Here is one for you.)

Dear Ed and Al,

Hi! This is Lily Evans, your number one fan! I have long red hair, emerald green eyes; I'm kind of short. I have to admit though; I've always had a crush on Ed. Are you single? If you are, would you like to go out sometime? Enclosed is my picture. The girl with black hair and green eyes is my sister, Dragana. She's interested in Al if he is.

Love Lily and Dragana 

" Ha ha ha ha! You should see your faces! There redder then red!" Skaii busted out laughing. This was true, both boys (yes, even Al) were flushed beat-red. They looked at the picture.

" Uh… thanks. But I don't know if it'll work out." Al tried to find the right words but failed horribly.

"… Take that Mustang! Ha, and he said a shrimp couldn't be loved!" Ed said victoriously! Skaii snapped her fingers and Ed was wearing a shrimp costume.

" There, that's better." Skaii laughed at Ed's expression. Ed tore off the costume.

-Ed needs to find his pants and shirt-

" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Skaii was tearing now. When Ed had tore off his costume he only had his boxers on. So Skaii snapped her fingers and now Ed was wearing a bean costume instead. " Bet you won't do that again!"

" Shut the hell up." Ed grumbled as he sat down across from Skaii.

" Abort! Abort!" A computer like voice yelled over the intercom. The room went pink… yes pink!

* * *

Skaii: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bean!

Ed: Shut up!

Al: Why pink?

Skaii: I have no clue. Anyway, I love writing this! If you could tell there is a story behind this!

Al: Like, the smell of barf doesn't wash off armor easily.

Skaii: Sure. Why not?

Ed: This is so stupid…

Skaii: Keep coming with the reviews, okay?

Al: Please, I need to know if I ever get the smell off my foot!

Ed: … I hate you Skaii.

Skaii: I heart you too.

Al: This is going to take awhile…


	4. I didn't know i could do titles!

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST

Dear (pace name here)

CHAPTER 4

By SaKuRa SaGuRa

Disclaimer

Skaii: I'm already on chapter 4!

Ed: How many chapters till we leave?

Skaii: Depends,

Ed: On what?

Skaii: On how many letters I get and how many ideas I have.

Ed: I can't believe people are actually reviewing.

Skaii: Hey Ed, want to make a bet?

Ed: On what?

Skaii: The rules are simple, if I get at least 12 more reviews you have to do the chicken dance and declare you're a bean!

Ed: Fine! And if you don't you have to let us go!

Skaii: Okay. I sure hope I get 12…

Ed: Where's Al?

…Some where under my bed…

Al: Sakura doesn't own us! PS send reviews!

* * *

"Great, I told you we needed to get off. But no! You have to have a weak stomach!" Skaii yelled at Ed, who for some reason or another was wearing black and red sneakers, dark blue jeans, a black under shirt, and a red jacket with 'FMA' written on the back. " Though I must say I do like your change in clothes." Skaii giggled at Ed's reaction to his outfit.

" Better than the bean costume…" Ed agreed as he felt the fabric. " Al,"

" Yes brother?" Al asked simply.

" You changed too." Ed said bluntly while pointing at Al. He had a light indigo loincloth (A/N: It is a loincloth right?) that had a yellow kitten's face on the front and back and his hair (A/N: Think back to the extras in vol. 3) was braided.

" Hahahaha! That's hilarious!" Skaii purred with laughter as Al's armored face went red. When he did, the cat on the loincloth did too.

" Whoa, look at that!" Mr. Welings chuckled as he sat down with a bandage on his head, " Looks like Al's cat shows his expressions."

" Yeah, you're right!" Al laughed along with Mr. Welings.

" Now Al's got 3 faces!" Ed said fairly amused.

" Does anyone realize the danger we're in?" Skaii asked trying to grab a floating milkshake.

" No." The three answered. She got a hold of the milkshake; only it disappeared before she could take a sip.

" Great! Now I'll have to explain-" Skaii was about to say before her seat turned to jelly and she sunk in. Ed smirked, happy to see Skaii taking some damage. Skaii quickly got out of the jelly and started wiping her clothes jelly-free. " I hate jelly." She grumbled.

" And I hate milk. Now we're almost even." Ed smiled evilly (A/N: Like in the manga) and grabbed some of the jelly and tasted it. " YUCK!" He spat out the once jelly substance that had turned it's self into rotten tomatoes.

" Whoa, it's worse then I thought…" Skaii muttered as she picked up a tomato.

" What was that for?" Ed asked/yelled as he wiped his hands on a reappearing and disappearing napkin. " Can you stop this?" Ed asked, angry with Skaii for giving them such a hard time.

Skaii sighed, _I wish I could…but I can't._

" What do you mean ' I can't'? You're not doing this?" Ed asked Skaii, not realizing he had just read her thoughts. Skaii gawked at him. Things were getting worse. She blushed a little and walked down the hall.

_Just what I need, a telekinetic pipsqueak!_ Skaii thought fuming as she tried hitting the pink around her. Every thing but the living was going pink. _I hate pink, I hate it, and I absolutely positively hate it!_

" I am not a pipsqueak!" Ed yelled at Skaii's back as he ran after her, still unaware of what was going on. " Wait, telekinetic? Me? A mind-reader." Ed stopped in his tracks.

_Can you here me? _Skaii thought as loudly as she could while turning around

" Yes! You don't have to shout!" Ed said putting his hands over his ears

_I'm not yelling. Look at my face. _Skaii thought calmly as she smirked at him. Ed_ s_tared._ Is my mouth moving?_

" No."

_But you can here me?_

" Yes."

_If you cover your ears cane you still hear me?_

" Uh huh."

" Problem solved, you're mind-reader!" Skaii said and walked to the door.

" Did you say something?" Ed asked as he ran up to Skaii and tapped her shoulder. Skaii looked and nodded. " What did you say?" Ed asked confused. Skaii repeated her sentence. Ed just stood there. He couldn't hear her! " I'M DEAF!"

_No you aren't! You can only hear my thoughts! And I can only hear you words! _Skaii grabbed the panicking Ed by the shoulders and shook him a little._ Get a hold on yourself! _Ed's eyes went wide and he disappeared in a puff of smoke._ Oh, noodles_…

…In car 5…

"? YllaeR" Al asked Mr. Welings (A/N: Al is speaking backwards so sorry if I mess up). The old man nodded. "! Aedi on dah I" Al scratched his metal head in awkwardness.

" Tis thy truth I speaketh!" Mr. Welings said in a very English accent.

". Taht ees nac I… rethguaddnarg ruoy s'ehS" Al could hardly believe it! All of a sudden Ed fell from the ceiling onto the card game the two had been playing.

" Thou were most inexcusable!" Mr. Welings huffed. Ed had no idea what he said and really… he didn't care.

"! RehtorB" Al said enthusiastically only to receive another one of Ed's 'what's going on here?' looks. "? Gnorw s'tahW" Al asked confused. As far as he knew he was speaking fine and forward.

_We should probably read this._ Skaii sat down next to Al and took out a letter. Mr. Welings stood up and left the room, saying something about thou and thy and sometimes y.

" Here we go." _Here we go_, Skaii opened the letter for the two to see.

Hehehehehe… Ed is funny… I don't get the beans in Pinako's hair at the end of book 3, can you get her to talk about it? Please? And how tall is Edward anyway? How tall is Al? And will Roy marry me?

Mycatcoco7

" I am funny. Thanks… NOW GET US OUT OF HERE!" Ed yelled and grabbed his head. Skaii smiled and cleared her throat.

"Well, in chapter 1 was a picture of Aunt Pinako in a bikini." Skaii shivered a little before watching Ed and Al vigorously rub their eyes, scream, and run around the train car. " But I know what you're talking about. There's this fermented soybean paste or something that's supposedly disgusting. Never had it. Anyway, I guess it might be sticky… if some one could tell me what it is I appreciate it. I think its called natto." _I wonder if Ed really hates natto, like he does milk._

" EEEEEEWWW! NATTO!" Ed yelled as he and Al hid under separate seats as a piece of natto flew by.

" I think I just found something Ed hates more than milk…" Skaii smirked to herself. " You want to know how tall Ed is do you?" Skaii smiled evilly. Some how or another Ed had hit a light bulb when some milk and natto floated by. The lights went out and the three were their… 'Normal' selves.

" Big brother I can't see…" Al said unhappily as he tried to get out from under the seat. Ed was rubbing his head and Skaii was picking glass off of her clothes.

" As I was saying, before some bean broke a light, you want to know how tall Ed and Al are right?"

Ed jumped, _Oh no, she doesn't know does she?_

" I'm about 7 feet, I think. I'm not sure… I don't think I've ever been measured." Al said once he got out from under the seat. Ed was trying his best to find Skaii and stop her. Little did he know she was on the ceiling, right above him.

" Edward is just about-" Skaii started to proclaim but the lights came back on and she fell atop Ed. She sat up on Ed's back to make sure he would stay down.

" GETOFFGETOFFGETOFF!" Ed flailed his arms and legs around.

" Skaii, maybe you shouldn't…" Al asked quietly. _Wait a sec, I don't even know how tall brother is. How does she know then?_

" I know because I'm a huge fan and I run around websites all the time!" Skaii said snapping her fingers and next thing Ed knew he had a muzzle on.

"Havoc for the last time! Your lunch box is not a portal to the Land of Oz!" Mustang said slamming his hands down on a seat. Startled by the sudden appearance and out burst Skaii fell off of Ed's back and disappeared.

" Colonel!" Al said happy to see some one somewhat sane… even if his brother considered Mustang as a crazed loon.

" Huh? Where am I? Havoc? Al is that you? What happened to your 'hair'?" Mustang asked very confused. He became even more confused when he saw Ed transmute the muzzle into a metal block.

" Uh, long story…" Al said sweat dropping along with the loincloth cat.

" Is this the place Havoc was talking about?" Mustang asked as he grabbed a floating piece of paper. Ed and Al both nodded in turn. Mustang read the letter.

" What do you say? Do you want to date a fan?" Skaii asked puffing out of nowhere and landing on the ceiling.

" Get married, no. Going on a date with out being shot at by Hawkeye, yes." Mustang rubbed his butt. It was still a little tender, from when Hawkeye nearly hit him last week, and it didn't help that he was in the Land of Oz.

" Do you know where you are?" Skaii asked folding her arms. Ed and Al listened closely. Maybe they could figure out how to get home!

" In the Land of Oz." Mustang smirked only to receive a glare.

" I take that as an insult." Skaii took out the reddish-brown box and opened it. She took out a map and let it float down. It was just a centimeter away from Mustang's fingertips when the room changed up to down again. He fell to the ceiling while the map continued to fall to the floor. Al ended up landing on a light and every thing went dark…again.

* * *

Skaii: I already got twelve reviews!

Al and Roy: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAHAHAHA!

Ed: SHUT UP!

Skaii: Now now, our little chicken bean-

Ed: I am not a 'little chicken bean'!

Roy: Your right.

Ed: … Mustang and I agree? The world must be going crazy… no wait; it was when we met her.

Skaii: It's rude to call the colonel a girl.

Roy: Grrr… I was going to say you're a midget turkey peanut….

Skaii and Al: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA!

Ed: AL!

Al: Don't forget to review!

Ed: HEY! LISTEN TO ME!

Al: Sorry beaner- I mean brother!

Skaii:Well, readers, I bet you didn't know why I need Ed to do this do you?

Roy: Wasn't it to humiliate him?

Skaii: Nope.

Ed, Al, and Roy: Huh?

Skaii find out in the next chapter or so!

Ed, Al, and Roy: WAIT TELL US!

* * *

Sorry for only one letter but I dothank you all for reviewing! This is my first fanfic and I was thinking that if you all like this one you might like my others… tell me!

You don't know how surprised I am that I haven't been flamed, haha! Especially with Ed barfing on me! It will take me awhile to place all the letters. But that's good I got a lot. The more I get the longer the story'll go! I thank you all for the reviews! They're energy boasting and keep me going! And you thought I was going to make Ed dance for no reason. Thinking of what I want to type makes my sides hurt! I'll give you all a hint…

The train has been hijacked… Mr. Welings was the driver if you noticed.


	5. Chapter 5

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST

Dear (place name here)

Chapter 5

By Sakura Sagura

Disclaimer…

Skaii & Al & Roy: HAHAHHAHA AHAHAAHA! HAHAAHAA HAHAHHAHAHA!

Ed: SHUT UP!

…Dead silence…

Ed: You still** don't own us…**

Skaii: I wouldn't want to own a bean anyway.

Roy: You mean a shrimp.

Al: You never told us how tall Ed is.

Roy: You mean how short.

Ed: SHUT IT!

Skaii: You don't say much. But I suppose that's normal for a bean.

Ed: AAARGH!

Al: Brother…

Ed: WHAT!

Al: Huh, sorry.

Skaii: You need to dance you know.

Roy & Al: HAHAHAHAH AHHA HAA HAHAHA!

Ed: Skaii.

Skaii: Yes?

Ed: Go away!

Skaii: Be careful of what you wish for. You just might get it.

* * *

" You all okay?" Skaii called as pushed her self into a sitting position. It was darker then dark, so dark you could cut it with a knife. 

" I think so."

No response…

" Okay? Is that what you call nearly getting a concussion!"

" Did you get a concussion?" Skaii asked looking up, trying to find Ed, and some light.

" No." Ed said blushing as he stood up on the ceiling. Roy was knocked out and drooling, some was even dripping to the floor. Al was a few feet from Ed and was doing his best not to lose his helmet.

" Alright then. No need to fret." Skaii said trying to stand up. She was unexpectedly clammy and dazed. She couldn't stand up and she was using so much energy to stand up that even if she did stand, she'd most likely fall over. She heard Al's clanking footsteps walk overhead. She couldn't quite hear what they were saying.

"…Down…trans…Sk…then we…but…stupid…tang…yeah I know…okay."

" Uh. I …" Skaii felt her legs. They we're freezing cold and numb. She couldn't move from the waist down. There was a blue light from above as a ladder was formed next to Skaii.

" Here we come!" Al said trying to get Skaii out of the way incase she was under them. Not even halfway down, gravity remembered it had a job to do and pulled Ed and Al to the floor.

" Why does it keep on doing this to us?" Al asked as he sat up. Ed stood up and rubbed his butt. There was a little light coming from the windows. It must be early morning, maybe about 3 or 4 o'clock.

" I have no…" Ed just happened to glance at Al and see what was so odd. Skaii was sitting on the floor, legs stretched out in front of her. And Al's right foot just happened to be resting on them. He stared at Skaii and then at Al and back again. Skaii looked at her legs. No pain. She shook her head. She couldn't see!

" AH! Skaii I'm sorry!" Al yelled freaking out and jumped away once realizing what was going on. Ed ran over to Skaii.

" Hey, what's wrong?" Ed asked as he knelt down beside her. Her eyes were a clouded gray and her sweat was icy.

" Ed? Al? You need to get out." Skaii wheezed as she doubled-over. The two boys had no idea what she was talking about. Not to mention, well Ed at least, could feel the sudden drop in temperature.

* * *

" So, can I get my seat back now?" Mr. Welings asked as he smiled at the pure gold chair in front of him. He saw a gloved hand wave then he fell to the floor dead…not really. He just was knocked out. The hand returned to it's owner. 

"Maybe I should say hello."

* * *

" Alright, just through the door." Skaii muttered to Al, who was giving her a piggyback ride. Ed opened the steel door and went into the car behind Al and Skaii. The car had a sweet chestnut aroma and was warm. The three walked down the aisle. 

" Brother, I don't have a good feeling." Al muttered as they walked on by several cherry colored seats. Ed glanced around the room.

" Neither do I." Ed said quietly. The room was warm enough but he still felt a chill come up his spine. As though some one was watching them. Skaii wiped her forehead, trying to rid the sweat that was covering her body. "GYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Ed yelled as he felt something grab his right ankle.

" What's wrong Edward?" Al asked nearly dropping Skaii. "GETOFFGETOFFGETOFF!" Ed screamed and fell over while he was trying to run for it. Al set Skaii down on a chair and ran over to his brother. A dark purple hand had crept out of the floor and was trying to take Ed under. Skaii listened in confusion as the heat in the room rose steadily. Soon the warm chestnut smell was replaced with a grotesque decaying smell and the heat became unbearable.

" Great, we're dead." Skaii murmured to herself. The seat she was sitting on became soft and lukewarm. She felt herself sinking! " NOO!" Skaii tried to swim out. But she couldn't see and her legs weren't much help.

" SKAII!" The two brothers shouted as they watched Skaii disappear in front of them. They couldn't help her at all.

" DAMNIT!" Ed cried as he clapped his hands together and hammered the hand with them. The hand was engulfed in a cerulean light along with a shriek. Ed stumbled upward. Al scooted over to the chair there was a note.

" This isn't what we need right now." Al grumbled as he read the letter.

Dear Edward,

Okay, I don't wanna freak you out, so lemme just start by saying: you are the most AWSOMELY AWSOME guy in FMA! I know that really isn't good grammar, but I don't care! Anyways, I've got some questions I hope you answer:

-Do you have a crush on anyone?

-If I was in your world would you date me?

-Whose the person you hate most in your life don't count me

-And, lastly, what would you do for a klodike bar? I've always wanted to ask some on that! 

Anyway, you rock, I love ya, please read this, got to go, bye-bye! 

Lots of Hugs, Anime Dutchess

Ed and Al looked at each other. Before Ed could say anything Al started laughing.

" SHUT UP! This isn't the time to anyway!" Ed yelled blushing.

" Haha, you're right, I'm sorry. Better answer this so we can get going." Al said doing his best to calm down. The cat on Al's loincloth was taking deep breaths.

" Fine," Ed quickly glared at Al before going on. " You are right. I am so awesomely awesome." Ed reread the letter as Al started to giggle. " Now for your questions… No I don't have a crush on anyone! And even if I... No, you people stop asking me THAT! I will NOT date you!" Ed flared his arms at the ceiling. Al laughed at his brother.

" Come on brother. Stop being rude." Al sighed remembering they needed to hurry up.

" I know, I know." Ed said pouting a little. " The cross dressing palm tree, colonel Sarcasm, and whoever kidnapped Skaii…and maybe even Skaii."

" Wow, you hate a lot of people." Al said as Ed grew little anger marks on his head.

" Shut it! And I have no idea what a 'klodike bar' is."

" It might be a mineral."

" Hmm, if it can help us in our search for the stone… I'd might break into a lab, fight a chimera, go one-on-two with some living suits of armor, and dodge wrenches. Oh, I wouldn't mind giving Mustang a kick where the sun don't-"

" Brother!"

" Sorry, even if it's true."

" What were we doing before we read that letter?" Al asked, Ed looked at the ceiling again.

"What the-." Ed read the letter on the ceiling.

Ha ha! Ed's short!

Crazedgurl847

" I am NOT!" Ed jumped at the letter. He couldn't reach for beans…

" HAHAHA! There you two are!" An unfamiliar voice snickered at the two. Ed and Al turned to see some thing they weren't readyfor.

* * *

Ed: …

Al: …

Roy…

Al: That was kind of…

Ed: Stupid?

Al: No,

Roy: Short, like Ed?

Ed: HEY!

Al: I was going to say dark.

Roy: That too.

Ed: Say… where is Skaii?

Roy: I wasn't really in this chapter and I know. You were watching, not me.

Al: She was kidnapped Ed.

Ed: …

Roy: I think he's in shock.

Al: Brother?

Ed: ALL RIGHT! Ding-dong, the witch is dead, the witch is dead, the witch is dead! Ding-dong the wicked witch is dead!

Roy: … Why have we been quoting that one book?

Al: What book?

* * *

Pugh-lease review! I'm so sorry this was so short! … like Ed.

Ed's fans: Get her!

Me: NOOOO!


	6. Chapter 6 Wow

**FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST**

**Dear (place name here)**

**Chapter 6**

**By Sakura Sagura**

Disclaimer… 

Al: Skaii?

…Same time…

Ed: Idiot?

Roy: **Person who doesn't own us?**

Al: Great job brother. You made her leave…

R&E&A: …We're free!

Ed: We can leave we can leave we can leave!

Al: YAY! We can get out of here!

Roy: We'll be back to sanity in no time!

Skaii: Wahoo she's not here! … Wait who's gone?

R&E&A: … NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Skaii: Hmm, that's a little weird. Well, lets get going…

* * *

A young girl stood in front of the brothers. She had dark pine green hair that was up in a long ponytail like braid, a small button nose, and her eyes were a light chocolate color that matched her skin color almost perfectly. Her shirt was a lilac color with a frog picture on it, she wore a jean jacket with yellow stars embroidered on, her jeans were quite similar to the jacket, and her lilac colored shoes were barely visible under the leg hems. The two stared at her for a while.

_ Does everyone here have to look so… out of the ordinary?_ Ed wondered to himself as the girl came closer to them.

" You two aren't exactly normal either." The girl said haughtily as she stopped before them. Ed glared at her.

" Why can everybody read our thoughts?" Ed asked himself.

" I wasn't. You're just easy to interpret." She smiled, as she looked them over. " I like your change in clothes. Skaii chose well."

" Yeah, about Skaii… mind telling us where she is?" Ed asked crossly and stepped forward while clapping his hands. He placed a hand on his auto-mail and transmuted it into an arm blade. He wasn't sure what it was, but there was something about the girl that he didn't trust. Al noticed this too and went in two a fighting stance.

" What did you do with her?" Al asked the girl. The girl scratched the back of her head.

" That's a good question. To tell you the truth… I have no clue!" She flipped her braid as she smiled in a way that Ed and Al could tell pretty much tell meant she wasn't telling.

" All right fine. Then can you tell us who you are?" Al asked nicely. The girl placed her left hand on her hip and pointed to herself with her right.

" I am officer 5, Teyya Montana. It's nice to meet you." She said this with quite a lot of pride.

" You're in the military?" Al asked dropping his stance a little. Teyya nodded.

" I am certainly. I believe I'm the only officer on the train at the moment though. Well, not if you count…" She gave them a playful salute. Ed dropped his stance too.

" So, where's Skaii?" Ed asked coldly.

" Probably in…" Teyya stopped when a ringing sound came from one of the jacket pockets. " Wait a sec, okay?" She lifted the phone out of her pocket and pressed a button. " Hello, officer 5, Teyya Montana, how may I please you?" Ed and Al exchanged glances.

" What is that, brother?" Al whispered to Ed.

" Actually, I was going to ask you that." Ed whispered back.

" It looks like a telephone."

" Uh huh, I thought that too."

" But it still seems…"

" Al, we've seen weirder."

" I guess."

" Of course! I will make sure…She what? I under stand…Good-bye." Teyya said in a computer like voice. Ed and Al stopped talking to watch her put the phone back.

" 'She'? Now who would that be?" Ed asked smiling mysteriously.

" No matter of yours." Teyya walked by them with out even a glance. The two followed her. She grabbed the handle on the door. " Stop following me." She said impatiently.

" Tell us where Skaii is." Al said swiftly.

" Why should I?" Teyya spat at the floor.

" Why shouldn't you?" Ed asked mockingly. Teyya glared at them.

" She's in the car you two were originally in." She said quickly and ran through the door and shut it promptly. Ed and Al looked at each other.

" Ready to go back?" Al asked his brother. Ed frowned and shook his head.

" No way. You go back and I'll go follow Teyya." Ed said this as he grasped the handle.

" You sure? Maybe I should go to the front."

" No, she'd probably hear you."

" You're going to sneak?"

" Well, I'm not going to walk up and say ' Hey, you don't mind if I follow you and see what your hiding, do you'."

" Hmm, you're right, saying that would never work. And when it comes from you it just sounds… "

" Sounds what?"

" …Er… like an idiot speaking."

" Pfft, not to mention you should probably go get the colonel."

" That's why you're going up front right?"

" … Maybe." Ed said quickly. He opened the door and walked through. Al sighed and started the long trod to their car.

* * *

" Dang, how'd she get out?" Teyya asked a tan boy with spiky black hair that had a blue cap over his head; he looked about 11 or so. He put his hands in his tan shorts that looked like it was made completely of pockets and looked at his feet.

" Ano." He said biting his lip. He blushed a little out of uneasiness and his big dark blue eyes gazed up at Teyya.

" Grr, I told you to keep an eye on her." Teyya said in an 'I told you so' voice. The boy flinched when she reached her hand out and placed it on his head. She smiled a genuine smile. The boy felt unpleasant as she walked away from him to a ladder. She gripped the handlebars and started climbing up. " You know what'll happen if we can't capture Skaii, right?" She said flatly halfway up the ladder.

" Ano…" The boy's eyes grew wide (A/N: You know those scared and or shocked faces FMA people get right? Place one on his face.).

** " We'll wipe your world off the map."** Teyya opened the trap door and climbed out of sight.

* * *

_ Now that's interesting…_ Ed lifted his ear from the steel door. It had a complicated lock with several dials, chains, and keyholes. Ed stood up and brushed his dark blue jeans off. _Looks like the door is locked… And I don' trust transmuting any more for a while._ He looked around the room. It had a stale bread smell; the walls were covered in turtle and penguin wallpaper that was starting to peel, the seats were bleached brown leather, the pink overhead lights gave off enough dim light to make out a ladder down the aisle. _Hmm, that'll work._ He walked down to the rusted ladder. He started climbing up it. Ed reached his left hand up onto a bar. " AAAH!" Ed yelled as he fell to his butt along with several shattered metal pieces. "OW!" Ed flew up from the floor. He glared at the lone sharp metal screw he had sat on. He rubbed the bottom of his right thigh.

" Ano?" Someone asked as the door swung open. Ed turned to see a little boy who looked as though he was about to wet himself.

" What?" Ed asked dumfounded. This was obviously the boy he had eavesdropped on earlier. The boy motioned for Ed to come into the room.

" Ano!" The boy said quickly. Ed just stared at him.

_ Oh, when I find Skaii…

* * *

_

" Now, Teyya did say Skaii would be in our car, right?" Al asked himself as he checked under the seat they had sat in earlier. " Huh? What's this?" Al sat up with a letter in hand. He quickly read it before putting it in his armor for safekeeping. " These people are seriously crazy…" Al looked up and down the aisle. He saw something that wasn't there before. " A ladder?" He walked over to it. The fine chrome was so well polished that even Winry would be jealous. _Maybe Teyya meant Skaii would be up here._ Al opened the trap door and stepped out into the 5 o'clock sunlight.

" AH! WHAT'RE YOU DO'N UP HERE!" Someone yelled at Al, who turned to look but they had thrown a washrag at his helmet.

" What was that for?" Al asked a bit scared as he took the washrag of his helmet. Only to be greeted by a little gray shoe that knocked his head off. Luckily, he was able to catch it.

" Dang, I thought… Sorry mister." Al looked towards the voice. It belonged to none other then a little girl. She had curly, silver hair that went just past her hips. She wore a wool bonnet that covered most of her head and her ear area. Her clothes weren't much; just a knee-length bleached gray dress and a plain old, gray, and coal-smothered shoe.

" Uh, its all right … who are you?" Al asked as he slowly put his head on.

" It's…" She blushed a little.

" Yes?"

" That is ma' name is…

" You can tell me."

" Promise ya' won't make fun err' it?"

" … I promise.

" Ma' name is-"

* * *

" Ano!" The boy handed Ed a piece of molded bread.

" Uh… thanks." Ed clapped his hands and transmuted it mold free (A/N: I don't know if that would be considered E-E but he just reformed it and stopped at step 2 with the mold) and gave it back to the all to thin child. He stared at Ed what seemed like forever and a half. " Aren't you going to eat it?" Ed asked him.

" Ano." The boy tore it in half and handed the bigger piece to Ed and then gratefully ate his half. " Ano!" He nodded his thanks.

" Your welcome… Say do you say anything besides 'Ano'?" Ed said as he ate some of his bread. The boy somberly shook his head. " Ah, sorry…" Ed apologized hastily. They munched down their last breadcrumbs. Ed looked around the small room. It was really warm. And he, having auto-mail, was burning up. There was a 6 soot tall furnace in the far corner, which was blowing soot out now and then. The walls were bare, there was a gray ladder near the door behind them and piles of soot on the granite floor. The boy glanced to see Ed standing up and brushing himself off.

" Ano ano!" The boy grabbed Ed's coat for attention. Ed looked as the boy dug through a pile of soot. " Ano!" He handed Ed a letter.

" Hey, thanks a lot…" _Great, Skaii isn't even here and she still tortures me!_ Ed took the letter with a sour face. He read it quickly and stuffed it in his pants pocket. "Say, what's your name?"

" Ano?"

" Your name. What is it?"

"Darrie Cupps." The boy said with difficulty but managed a big smile. Ed gawked at him. He could speak and his name was something related to milk! Suddenly Ed felt is stomach roll. He stumbled a little and landed in some soot. The only thing was, the 'soot' Ed landed in wasn't 'soot'.

* * *

" I told ya' wouldn't like my name." The little girl said sadly to a freaked out Al and loincloth cat.

" Your name is Alfonse?" Alphonse stammered. Alfonse nodded. Alphonse nodded back. Alfonse looked like she was going to be sick. Alphonse's loincloth cat looked like it was going to be sick too.

" You want to know something?" Alphonse laughed a little. Alfonse looked up at him and nodded. " I have the same name…"

" Really? For truly!"

" Yep, A. L. P. H. O. N. S. E."

" Wow, that's amaze'n!"

" How so?"

" Someone gots the same name as me!"

" Yeah, I guess it is. Say what's you last name?" Alphonse asked a little nervous Alfonse thought for a bit.

" I don't got one of 'em last names." Alfonse said as though she was talking about the weather. The loincloth cat looked surprised.

" Really?" Alphonse asked slowly. She nodded a 'yes'.

" Most of us don't got 'em, specially da' younger ones, like me."

" What do you mean?" Alphonse asked swiftly.

" Say, you know how 'em trains work, right?"

* * *

Ed fingered the soot. He couldn't believe it! Ed gave Darrie an overly shocked and angry look.

" What the hell are you doing here?" Ed asked weakly, standing up and brushing the 'soot' off. Darrie bit his lip and looked at his bare feet. There was no need to answer though. Ed didn't care what Darrie knew (since he probably couldn't say anyway). Ed grabbed the collar of Darrie's dark blue shirt and brought him eye to eye. " WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Ed yelled at Darrie, who could only cringe and start crying. Ed let go of the boy and watched him curl into a ball on the floor.

" Ano ano!" Darrie sobbed on the floor, Ed looked away.

_ I didn't mean to make him cry like that! But… what in the world is happening? _Ed bared his fists at his side. _This must be why Skaii wanted us to get off…Skaii must of…SKAII! _Ed looked at the soot on the floor. _Oh no… She couldn't of been- No! But the letter…_Ed dug through some soot. Darrie was now wiping his tears and sitting up. He watched Ed look desperately for what he didn't want to find. Darrie stood up and feebly stumbled over to Ed and tapped his shoulder. Ed Look around at Darrie darkly.

" Ano." He shook his head and pointed to the ladder.

" Huh? D-did she get out?" Ed asked his face softening. Darrie nodded and pulled up his shirt. There was a large, purple bruise on his left side next to smaller bruises. " So, she hit you and ran? But she was so weak…" Ed rambled off. Darrie pointed to the ladder again. Ed took this just by looking at Darrie's face as ' Go and climb it you idiot!'.

" Fine, I'm going!" Ed stood up and walked towards the ladder. _Hot! Hot! HOT!_ Ed's left hand was burning up and his auto-mail doubled in heat. _Skaii, once I know you're alive... I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

* * *

_

Alphonse stared in disbelief. Alfonse looked out at the swiftly changing scenery. The once tall grass, numerous trees, hills and valleys, and occasional bodies of water were steadily depleting.

" Is that why Skaii-" Alphonse started slowly only to be cut off by Alfonse's response.

" Yeah, more den' likely. I don't know Skaii doe'. Look ya' need t' get off of ere'. You got a brother right?" Alfonse took a quick look at Alphonse who was walking to the trap door. " I wouldn't go dat way." Alfonse called over her shoulder.

" Why not?" Alphonse asked quickly. Alfonse walked towards the next car and waved her hand for Alphonse to come.

" It goes quick'r this way!" The wind was coming so fast now that Alphonse had trouble hearing what came next but followed anyway.

* * *

Skaii: I really need to put letters in don't I?

All: YES.

Skaii: Thought so…

Al: Why did you call her Alfonse?

Skaii: That was so hard! Typing out your names like that!

Ed: Then maybe you should let us go!

Roy: Where am I? I'm not in here anymore!

Skaii: Are you sure about that?

Al: Please Review!

Ed: You still have my lunch on your foot?

Al: …

Skaii: I thought that smell was Roy!

Roy: WHAT? Make fun of the shrimp not me!

Ed: HAHAHAHAHAHHA! Wait… I'M 'NOT A SHRIMP'!

(I love that website!)


	7. Roy keep your pants on

**FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST**

**Dear (place name here)**

**Chapter 7**

**By Sakura Sagura**

Disclaimer…

Ed: …

Al: Brother?

Ed: What?

Al: Are you that nervous?

Ed: No! What should I be nervous about?

Al: Well…

Skaii: Ed! I have the dance steps you need to practice!

Roy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ed: SHUT UP!

Al: …Skaii doesn't own us.

Skaii: Al, don't say things like that!

Al: Yes ma'am…

Ed: Al!

Al: What?

Ed: Help me!

Al: With what?

Ed: That thing…

Roy: What do you mean 'that thing'?

* * *

It must have been nearly 6:30 or so as she lay there on the blue, paint-peeling bench. A loud train whistle made her stir from her sleep.

" What time is it?" She asked herself as she sat up. The girl had short black hair that went just past her chin, which was accompanied with a murky lime bandana, and her blonde bangs hung messily above her vast, brown eyes. Her nose was pointed upward a bit and over looked the rest her almond colored, sleepy face. She stood up, straightened her black and white school uniform (A/N: Just like Skaii's in ch.1), and tapped her gray sneakers on the frosty cement. The wind was cold and clammy as it cut through the train station. She had sat on that bench, which was only a stairway away from the train tracks, all night waiting for Skaii and her 'friends'. _Why isn't she here? Skaii said she'd come straight here! _She irritably thought as she sat back down and rapped her legs under her plum jacket she hadused as a blanket. _Skaii knows how risky it is for her to be taking trains are now days! And with those two… Wait a sec!_ A sick feeling crept its way into her stomach. She stood up abruptly, threw her jacket over her shoulder, and headed for the ticket dispenser. She dashed through the cold wind till she came to the small, cement hut that had a pipe bellowing thick smoke from the roof.

" How may I please you?" The uniformed man asked from behind the fogging window.

" I need a ticket to Pelican please." The girl asked a bit nervously as she handed him the small bronze coins. He gave her a peculiar look.

" Who are you to want to go to a backwards place like that?" The man asked after taking her money through the small opening.

" Well, I need to see someone…"

" What's your age then? Not safe for youngsters to go alone."

" I am 14. Old enough t' take care of myself." She said truthfully. The man gave her a 'are you serious?' look. She nodded as she sighed at him. No one ever seemed to believe her for some reason. Maybe it was the fact that she was only 5ft.

" Name and info then. Got t' stamp your ticket." He sighed and took out a ticket and a pen.

" My name is Mimi Minami, age 14, gender is female, and my hometown is Bacon." She said flatly.

" All the way from Bacon, eh? Quite away alone I dare say." He smiled and slid her the ticket. She nodded appreciatively and started for the tracks. " Wait a sec!" The man called. Mimi turned back to him curiously. " Keep your wits about you! Be cautious everywhere, on the train and off! … And let good luck be with you. You'll need it all!"

" Thanks for your advice!" Mimi said timidly. And with that she headed for the train tracks.

* * *

" So, about this train…" Al (A/N: Alphonse-Al and Alfonse-Alf) started, " Why do people allow this to go on?" Alf stopped in her tracks to depressingly stare at Al.

" Cause… dey is a feared. If dey stand up 'or us they'll be killed. So dey hide and say to 'emselves that things ain't go'n on." Alf clenched her fists and made her way down the train top. Al, wide eyed (A/N: As well as he can…), watched her walk away.

" Killed?" Al stood there dumbfounded. Alf jumped onto the next train car and fumbled with a trap door.

" You come'n?" She called back to Al, who stumbled his way over to her, and crouched down before she opened the door.

" Why are they after you?" He asked firmly with his hand holding the door shut tight. Alf tried opening the door but obviously couldn't. She glared at Al. It was only then that he found she was crying. " Ah! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry!"

" Want kind o' nodikins are ya' not know'n what is go'n on?" She yelled at him. Al scooted back a bit, horribly freaked out, still making sure his hand was on the door. " Ya' fumble head!" Alf struck his armor chest with her hand only to quickly take it back and cradle it in her other hand.

" Careful you'll hurt yourself if you hit too hard!"

" Ya' think!"

" Sorry!"

" Stop do'n dat!"

" Sor- huh? Stop what?"

" Say'n sorry!"

"… Why?"

" Ya' don't need to!"

" Huh? Why not?"

" …Ain't ya' one of 'em 'ollows?"

" A what?" Al asked suddenly, surprised at the fact Alf had stopped screaming at him,Al leaned in a little closer to get a better look at Alf's face. She quickly turned away from him. " What do you mean by ''ollows'?" Al asked.

" Me meant are ya' one of… 'Em walk'n trash cans?" Alf stood up on her feet and stared at the squatting Al.

" Trash can?" Al said in a whiny tone suddenly surrounded by that black and purple air with those white dangly things (A/N: You know like when Al gets upset in those few episodes like on 'Forger's Love'). The cat on his loincloth had a defeated expression and was starting to whimper. Alf smiled and whipped her tears from her eyes. Unexpectedly she reached for Al's helmet head and swiped it off. " WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Al bawled as Alf jumped in.

" I likes it in 'ere," Alf's voice said from inside of Al. " I think me'll stay fir while!" After saying this Alf proceeded to move about for a better position.

" AH! Y-you know I CAN'T feel you in me… BUT STILL! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!" Al yelled at Alf. When she kept moving Al proceeded to run about to the next car and back several times, acting like a crazed chicken that had lost it's head (Alf had Al's head anyway), and screaming like a little girl all the way.

" WILL YA' STOP YOUR NODIKINING? I BE GO'N DEAF IF YA' DON'T STOP!" Alf yelled from inside Al who stopped, this only made Alf slam her back onto the inside of Al's chest plate, and cuss something nasty. " FISH FIDDLE STICKS-"

**_BANG_

* * *

**

" Hmm… you hear that? I say we got ourselves a rat problem." Teyya smirked at the figure in front of her. She moved the gun back to Ed. " You know that those rats are taller than you right?"

"WHO'REYOUCALLINGSOSMALLTHATIFHE WASINAWRESTLINGMATCHWITHARATHE'D BETOSMALLTHATHE'DGETSQUISHEDBEFORETHE RATKNEWHEWASTHERE!" Ed screeched at Teyya who had to cover her ears.

" For a delectable aquatic creature you're sure noisy."

" I"MNOTASHRIMP!"

" I never assumed you were."

"… I'MNOTAPARASITE!"

" I didn't say that either."

"… What did you mean then?"

" I meant you were a lobster."

Awkward silence

" I'M. NOT. A. LOBSTER!" Ed yelled grabbing his head. Teyya giggled at Ed's frustration.

" Fine you are a shrimp then." Teyya said calmly. Ed gawked at Teyya just realizing he'd been tricked.

" I'm NOT a SHRIMP! I'm a lobster- I mean a HUMAN!" Ed blushed at 'admitting' he was a lobster. Teyya was laughing and pointing.

" Are you sure? Your face is as red a lobster!" Teyya laughed still trying to calm down. Ed's head filled with anger marks as he grinded his teeth.

" WHY DOES EVERY ONE CALL ME-" Ed started yelling at the ceiling but saw a note there and stopped to read.

WHAT! THERES NO LETTERS? Oh well… we'll all live, I guess. 

Good storyline, by the way. Poor Ed, so small and short and all…

Mycatcoco7

" What ya' looking at?" Teyya asked as she looked up too. " No idea what some of that means. But it is right about one thing…" Teyya smirked at the wide-eyed, open-mouthed, pale alchemist.

_I can't believe this! Here's ANOTHER stupid note calling me names! A NOTE! I bet Skaii's doing this! …Storyline huh? I wonder if these people are delusional…_ Ed stood there thinking this while Teyya leaned over and whispered in his ear.

" Mycatcoco7 was right in the fact that you ARE short." Teyya whispered. Ed jumped at the tingle in his ear and then came back with a fist. Teyya noticed this and stepped back a few feet in the car. This car was wider than the others. It was laden with gold ornaments and velvet seats, fine redwood floors, diamonds, that were sparkling on the sides of the marble tables in between the seats, shone bright, pearl encrusted windows showed the depleting grasslands, the walls were painted green and were as soft as silk, and the ceiling was coated in silver and green gemmed strips.

" STOP CALLING ME SHORT!" Ed yelled and threw another punch at Teyya who just ducked in response.

" But if I call you 'tall' I'd be lying." Teyya stood up and dropped the gun on a nearby velvet seat. She ran at Ed and tried kicking him in the gut. Ed caught her foot with both hands and twisted.

" I'm still GROWING you idiot!" Ed shouted and twisted harder. Teyya couldn't stand the pain and flipped over so her leg was straight. Only now she was on her stomach. She brought her other leg up at Ed, who was busy re-twisting her leg, and hit his left shoulder. He let go and Teyya flipped back onto her feet and smirked at him.

" You fight well for a lobster."

" Shut the hell up!"

" Make me."

" I will!" Ed was now even more ticked off then he was 30 seconds ago. He ran at her and jumped. He brought his knee up and would of hit her squarely in the face if she hadn't ducked. Ed ended up on a table. "ARGH! Stop doing that!" Ed yelled as soon as he was on his feet.

" I will, once you stop me." Teyya sighed. She was fed up with Ed and wanted to finish their fight before the train stopped.

" Fine, have it your way." Ed spat and clapped his hands, placed his left hand onto his right arm, and transmuted it into a blade.

" Pretty fancy." Teyya grinned at the workmanship. " Mind to tell me how you did that?"

" You'll have to stop me first." Ed grinned evilly at Teyya as he lunged forward slashing at her leg. Teyya shifted her footing just in time. She flung her hand at Ed's face only to be blocked by his left arm. So instead she kicked Ed in the left shin.

" Ow! What do you have on you leg?" Teyya cried rubbing her foot. Ed looked down at his leg.

" Nothing. Just auto-mail." He said innocently. Teyya mumbled the words to herself.

" Same with that arm?" Teyya asked nodding towards his arm-blade.

" Yep. And this auto-mail is gonna beat you till you tell me where Skaii is." Ed went back into a fighting stance. Teyya noticed this and copied him. Ed charged at Teyya before she knew what was happening. Ed punched her right cheek, under her eye, with his left hand. Teyya slid back into a seat rubbing her cheek. Her hand felt something behind her. It was her gun. "You have enough yet?" Ed asked smugly. " I can always use my auto-mail if you want." Teyya gripped the gun and sneered at Ed slightly.

" You wouldn't have the guts to kill me." Teyya said lazily to Ed, who was looking quite surprised at the response, and then stood up with the gun behind her back.

" …Who said I was going to kill you?" Ed asked tormented at the thought of killing anyone. Teyya smiled. She had found his weak spot.

" Well, if you were to cut me with that there auto-mail I could die of blood loss, my head falling off, having my internal organs damaged-" Teyya said over dramatically.

" Okay, I see your point." Ed said cutting her off and cringed at what she thought he might have done. " And besides, I don't kill."

" Then what was all that talk about using your auto-what's it? Hmm? Was that just for show?" Teyya grinned as she pointed the gun straight at Ed. " You won't get someplace without sacrifice you know. And when I say 'sacrifice'," Teyya moved closer to an alarmed Ed. " I mean people who get in your way. To live, as I'm sure you know, others must die. And for them to die someone must kill, right?" Teyya was now only about 4feet from Ed.

" Wrong! You don't… No one should have to…that is I-" Ed stammered. Teyya gave him a 'go on' look. He gulped and looked down at his right arm. Ed was about to say something really extravagant when the train flipped over again.

* * *

"Where am I?" Roy sat up and rubbed his aching head. He felt so tired and sore_. Why is the floor so wet? Where am I? Where are the others? …What is that?_ Roy thought as he made his way onto his feet. He looked down the aisle. Someone or something was making its way toward him. Instinctively Roy positioned his right hand into a snapping pose. "Whose there?" Roy asked the figure confident that if he had to fight he'd certainly win. Instead of an answer, the colonel's nose received a grotesque stench, Roy felt sick. As the figure came into the light of a nearby window Roy felt his stomach jump. The figure was a dark purple color, the oily skin looked as though it just barely fit, it was tall enough to be at least a head taller than Al, long bony fingers and toes, the right hand looked as though it had been burned, pointed jaw, razor sharp teeth, snake like nose, crocked horns, ribs stuck out, raptor like legs, and the eyes were small slits with a faint red glow.

Roy covered his mouth as the creature came closer. The smell was so strong that he could taste it. Which wasn't good considering the stench was just horrendous. The creature was only a yard or two away from Roy now. Quickly Roy, who just remembered his gloves, snapped at the creature. Nothing happened. He snapped again. Nada. Then again he snapped, this time much harder. Nope. Frustrated, Roy flung his arm while snapping. A letter popped out of nowhere. Roy grabbed it and stuffed it in a pocket, still no flames. _This leaves only one option…_ Roy turned around and grabbed the door handle. _Run away with the little dignity I have left! _Roy swung the door open. He stepped forward and slipped on what must have been his drool. _This explains why I couldn't use my alchemy!_ The colonel's eyes started to water as the creature stood right behind him. The long fingers grasped the back of his collar and dragged him upward till he was a good two feet off the ground. The creature turned Roy so they could see eye to eye. The smell coming from the creature's breath was like the smell of decaying bodies. Roy had the feeling he was going to die. So, being the colonel he is, Roy tried to smile. " Heh heh, hello beautiful." Roy said in a dorky voice. The creature gave Roy an innocent look.

" Hallo yourself gorgeous." The creature said in a German accent.

_Oh crap!_

* * *

" Alfonse? Alfonse, are you okay?" Al asked the little girl laying on a burgundy towel. Darrie leaned over three, slightly dented, tin cups as he poured some tea into them. Alf's eyes opened slightly and she looked around. The room's walls were a pale carroty color, there were shelves and cupboards, all randomly poka-dotted, on the ceiling, some on surprising places on the walls, and some were piled in the far corner next to a door. Two counters, each a deep gray, one had a cherry and olive striped sink, and several jars were sitting on the two counters over looking the tiled floor.

" What happ'n?" Alf choked out. Al shifted his seating a little. The loincloth cat looked nervous.

" Ah, you see… I think someone shot at us and when they did I kind of…" Al blushed.

" Freaked away?" Alf smiled at Al and tried sitting up. Though she couldn't so Al had to help. Darrie sat down on the other side of Alf and handed her some tea. She nodded thankfully and took a sip. Darrie gave Al a wary look and handed him a cup of tea as well. Al took the tea and looked at the deep green fluid.

_I hope brother is doing better than me._ Al set the tea down and took out the letter and read it.

Dear Skaii Shii

Can I kill Armstrong? OR BETTER YET MAKE HUGHES KILL ARMSTRONG?

HEY HUGHES, ARMSTRONG SAID THAT ELYSLA IS THE DEVIL AND WANTS TO KILL HER!

Love, Sailor N

Al sighed as he read the letter again. He hadn't seen Hughes in a long time (A/N: Yes, in this fanfic Hughes is… you know. And the brothers still don't know.) and, thankfully, they hadn't seen Armstrong either.

" HELP! I'm stuck!" Someone said exhaustedly from behind Al, he turned to look; no one was there though.

" Did you hear that?" Al asked Darrie and Alf. They nodded and looked around. Darrie stood up and took a deep breath.

" What err ya' do'n?" Alf whispered to Darrie. He shrugged, walked to the counter, climbed on top of it, jumped at a cupboard handle, grabbed it, and out came Armstrong.

" EEEEEEEK!" Al jumped and hid behind a startled Alf. Armstrong stood up and stretched. Darrie, flat as a sheet of paper, stuck his thumb in his mouth and blew.

" No! Ya' nodikins, y'all know dat is banned!" Alf shrieked at Darrie who, now back to normal, blushed and bowed to Alf to show he was sorry.

" Oh, Alphonse, how are you?" Armstrong asked Al once he was done stretching.

" I've been better sir…" Al answered. Armstrong looked around the room.

" By chance do you know where we are?" Armstrong asked while checking the cupboards.

" Aye. Us are on our way t' Pelican." Alf said shyly. Armstrong nodded to the girl.

" What is that you have there, Alphonse?" Armstrong bent over and grabbed the letter. He read it. He then reread it. After that he re-reread it. " Whose 'Elysla'?" Armstrong asked as he re-re-reread the letter.

" I was wondering the same thing." Al shrugged. Darrie put his head up against the wall.

" Ano." He moved his cap a little and listened in.

" You'll nev… Well not… ward…phon…then you…"

" That is… you… quiet be…"

" …Welings… you'll see…because he is in… em…"

" Is that… o… he… so you see… lear on that?"

" …Flame…chemical re…etters…"

" Shut up!"

Darrie scooted away from the wall when the scream cut through his eardrums.

" What was dat?" Alf asked no one in particular. Al stood up and ran to the wall and drew a transmutation circle.

" Ano?" Darrie marveled at the detail and took a step closer. Armstrong picked up Darrie and Alf so they wouldn't be in the way. Al placed his hands on the edges of the circle. A light flashed and in front of Al was a carroty colored wooden door.

" Alright, let's go!" Al swung the door open for Armstrong, who ran (while crouching) at the door with Alf and Darrie on his shoulders screaming. Next thing Armstrong knew he was on his butt, Darrie was on top of Al's head and Alf was Armstrong's footstool.

" Ano ano ano?" Darrie clutched Al's spiky shoulder so he wouldn't fall. Armstrong, oblivious to the fact Alf was under his feet, glared at the fine red door in front of him.

" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Al screamed. " NOT AGAIN!" He tore open the door. A blue one was next with black trim, then a platinum one, and then one with locks. Al ended breaking that one right out. Armstrong looked on with desire to assist Al.

" Here Alphonse, let me help! I will use the famous Armstrong 'breaking doors out of their sockets' technique, which has been passed down through-" Armstrong said proudly as his shirt disappeared mysteriously.

" Yeah, yeah, just grab some doors!" Al yelled franticly.

* * *

Ed sat up and rubbed his head finding his auto-mail back to normal. He looked around to see Teyya under some luggage. Ed stood up and stretched his sore muscles. He suddenly realized he had his old clothing back on. The red coat, black jacket with white trim, black tank top, white gloves, black pants, and black and red boots were back. Ed scratched his blonde head and yawned. Something fell out of a pocket of his. It was the letter from the place he'd met Darrie. Ed picked it up, sat down on the nearest seat, and read it.

Ed, will you ever go out with any of those girls? Poor baby. Belch. Now that you think of it… milk is nasty! Milk makes you barf! My Ed-kun is NOT short! What is this crazedgurl going to do to you next?

Crazedgurl847

" No I won't go out with any of those girls. I'm NOT a BABY! Yes milk is nasty! And I'm not going to drink some opaque white liquid that was secreted by a COW! Think about it. You're mainly drinking the cow's pie!" Ed rumbled off angry at what Skaii did to him earlier. " Now let's not bring that incident up again… YES! Somebody who knows I'm NOT short! I don't know what you're going to do next. Whatever it is leave me out of it."

" Whom're you talking to?" Somebody asked from the seat behind Ed.

" AL DID IT! I SWEAR IT WASN"T ME! I EVEN PUT THE BOOK BACK FOR HIM AND I-" Ed shouted, freaking out more then he should.

" Uh, Edward m'boy." It was Mr. Welings grinning at Ed's foolery. Ed gaped at him.

" Where'd you go?" Ed asked Mr. Welings. The old man picked his nose, looked at the piece of yuckness, and then stuck it under the table. " Ew… Why'd you do that?"

" I don't know. Guess I felt like it." Mr. Weling shrugged and did it again. Ed sweat-dropped at the old man.

" Say," Ed said quickly, " Couldn't you go and get Skaii so we can leave?" Mr. Welings was startled at Ed's sudden outburst.

" Nope!"

" Why not?"

" Cause."

" Cause why?"

" I don't want to."

" … Okay, why don't you want to?"

" Cause."

" Cause why?"

" I don't want to."

" ARGH! GIVE ME A REAL REASON!"

" Fine! Rude little…"

" I'M NOT little! Here you can even see I'm not in this letter!" Ed grumbled, stuffing the letter in the old man's face. Mr. Welings studied it. Then he looked at Ed somberly.

" Edward…"

" Huh?"

" I'm sorry." Mr. Welings whipped a tear from his eye. Ed for some reason couldn't help smiling. He placed a hand on Mr. Welings's shoulder.

" Its alright. I forgive you."

" Oh, thank you Edward! I feel my soul arising!"

" Okay… Anyway just don't do it again."

" Huh? Do what?"

" Don't lie and say I'm small."

" For calling you small?" The old man gave Ed a puzzled look. Ed stared at Mr. Welings.

" Yeah, you're forgiven."

" I wasn't sorry for calling you small. I was saying sorry because…" Mr. Welings stood up, kicked Ed out of his seat and onto the floor, placed a sandaled foot on top of Ed's head, took out a spoon from his pocket and treated it like a microphone. " I was saying sorry because I CAN'T READ!" Mr. Welings burst into tears. Ed's head was littered with anger marks.

" GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!" Ed yelled over angry once again.

* * *

" So, do you come here often?" The female creature asked Roy, who was tied to a chair at a table, across from the creature. Roy shook his head. " No? You should! They have the yummiest meals here!" The creature 'smiled' at the freaked out colonel. " Oh, its so sad though. Sometimes I find the best meals in the halls. Why in fact I saw the cutest little shrimp puff earlier!"

" Really? A shrimp puff?" Roy choked out through the stench. The creature smiled at Roy, showing the razor-sharp teeth, and placed her hand on the table on top of Roy's. He flinched but put up with it. If he didn't he most likely be eaten…

" Do you like shrimp, honey?" The creature leaned towards him a bit. The colonel quickly shook his head. " Oh well, what do you like?"

" Well, I like uh…" Roy's face was turning bluer every millimeter the creature's fingers crept up his hand and onto his arm. " … Natto is a favorite of mine." Roy smiled in a dorky way. This little trick had turned off many women before.

" Really? Well then…" The creature jumped onto the table. This sudden movement made Roy fall over in his chair and flat on the floor. The creature beamed down at him. " Let me be your natto!"

" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Roy screamed like a little boy getting five shots at once. He shut his eyes waiting for the worst. There was a scream, most likely to be the creature's, and a thudding sound.

" Hey, you know when I told you to settle down?" A familiar voice asked Roy. " I didn't mean you should marry a freaky monster like that." That was Hughes's voice. Roy opened his eyes. It was Hughes in a tux with a throwing knife in hand.

" Hughes,"

" Yeah?" Hughes bent down and cut the rope so Roy could stand up.

" There's something I need to do…" Roy said brushing off his pants.

" Oh no. You two weren't going steady were you? I'm sorry about that-"

" No, I'm glad that thing is dead."

" Hmm, you didn't love her? Not even a little?"

" … Where did you get that-"

" Well, you must have liked her if you two were going to-"

" HUGHES!"

" Sorry, sorry, I'll stop. Now what do you need to do?" Hughes asked his old pal. Roy cleared his throat. Then he pointed, screamed like a little girl, and ran out the door. Hughes stood there dumbfounded. Then it came to him why Roy was acting so weird. " His heart must have been crushed. Break-ups are so tough." He took out a picture of his family and kissed it. " Maybe someday he'll have a family as good as mine."

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

**(Please READ)**

We have our first winner boys and girls! That's right, do you want to know whom? Of course you do…

**(" ) MYCATCOCO7 ( ") **

You are the winner! So what I need you to do is fill this out in a review.

Name: (may I just call you Coco for short?)

Age: (not over 1000 please…)

Gender: (I assume you're a girl…)

Likes: (Top 5 favorite things or more)

Dislikes: (Top 5 lest favorite things or more)

Favorite Character: (Who and what you'd do if you met)

Lest Favorite Character: (See above)

Hair: (color/style/length)

Eyes: (shape/color)

Skin: (What color are you)

Height: (Are you taller than Ed)

Clothes: (Two pairs please)

Attitude: (Need to know… sort of)

Can you kick butt: (Any weapons you're good with or and fighting skills)

Crush: (I assume it's Mustang)

That's about it. Remember this is for your MADE UP character. Not the real you please.

And for you other readers out there... all I really did was choose who reviewed most... Merry Turky giving!


	8. Ch 8 and 9!

_**Fullmetal Alchemist**_

**_Dear (place name here) _**

**Chapter 8**

_By Sakura Sagura_

Disclaimer…

Skaii: Anyone seen Ed?

Al & Roy & Armstrong: Nope... Why?

Skaii: I can't find him! He's supposed to be rehearsing-

Al: Did you hear that?

-From down the hall-

Ed: 1, 2, and 3. 1, 2, and 3 and again…

Roy: Blackmail…Wha ha ha ha!

Skaii: Shh! QUIET!

Ed: AH! GET OUT MORTALS WHO DON'T OWN ME!

Skaii: Yeah you guys! I am the only one who should be helping Eddy!

Roy & Al: ' Eddy'?

Skaii: Edo better?

Al: No… Say why aren't you helping us anymore?

Hughes: WANT TO SEE SOME PICTURES OFF MY LITTLE ANGEL?

All: -Stare, point, scream, and then run-

Hughes: Awe… they must be going to get her some presents!

* * *

Ed brushed his coat off in an irritated way and then glared at Mr. Welings, who was sitting on the floor and picking his nose.

" Ew…" Ed turned away and rubbed his left shoulder. It still hurt from Teyya kicking him earlier. "Say Mr. Welings." The old man quickly wiped a piece of snot under a nearby seat and gave Ed an 'I didn't do it' glance. "Are you ready to go help get Skaii?"

" Nope."

" Why not?"

" Cause."

" Cause why?"

" I don't want to."

" Why not?"

" Cause."

"… Let's try this again. Tell me why you don't want to and it has to be a real reason!"

" Well, to tell you the truth, it's because I think you're ugly." The old man said quite frankly. Ed gaped at him.

_ What did he just say?_ Ed's head received a large anger mark. Mr. Welings continued to pick his nose. " … What did you call me?"

" You know it's really depressing. I mean you're a midget that's deaf, stupid, and ugly." Mr. Welings frowned and stood up. He took a look over the enraged midget and scurried for his life to the door down the aisle.

" GET BACK HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE!" Ed shouted and ran for the old man. Suddenly he fell to the floor and landed in an old mushy banana. Mr. Welings skipped back over to Ed.

" Tsk tsk. Our great military pup dies over a banana split! How tragic…" The old man said in phony sadness, while trying not to laugh. He took out the spoon he'd used earlier and waved it up and down. A large vanilla scoop of ice cream fell onto Ed's head.

" ARGH! GETOFFGETOFF!" Ed stood up and fiercely brushed the 'frozen cow urine', as Ed would call it, off his head. " WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Ed lunged at Mr. Welings, who just smiled and Ed fell to the ceiling with a block of cheese in his mouth.

* * *

" Keep opening those doors Major!" Al called over his metal shoulder. Armstrong nodded as he opened a straw door and flexed his muscles needlessly. Al went back to his turn. He picked up a card and looked over the others he was holding onto.

" Do ya turn!" Alf snapped at Al.

" Oh, I'll take a four if you have one." Al said quickly. Darrie handed Al two fours and threw the one remaining card on top of the used deck.

" Ano ano." Darrie sighed in a defeated manner and fumbled with the brim of his cap.

" Lost ready, aye?" Alf asked Darrie and smiled as she laid three cards in front of Al. " Gimme your fours for these fives." They exchanged cards and then drew several more from the deck. Darrie leaned over behind Alf to get a look at her cards. She had three 4s, one 8,two 9s, and one 7. Alf gave Darrie a 'mind you own beeswax' look. He quickly looked away and watched the major rip out a yellow door with lacy pink trim.

" Al, hand me 'ur 7s." Alf bossily ordered, Al handed her a seven, she took it and placed the sevens on the used deck.

" Have any nines?"

" Nope."

" Then what about eights?"

" Nope." Alf sneezed and the cards changed. Darrie, wide eyed, stood up and started to yell at Alf… though all that came out was 'ANO ANO ANO ANO ANO!'

" Alphonse, take a look!" Armstrong proclaimed making both Alf and Al look his way.

" You get to the other side?" Al asked hopefully nearly squashing Alf and Darrie as he ran to look. Al stopped dead in his tracks. There was a note on the door. Al ripped it off and stuffed it in the pocket on his leg.

" Shall I continue to rip out doors?" Armstrong asked Al. Alf stood up and hoped her way over to the depressed Al. She tugged his loincloth eagerly. When Al didn't notice this she kicked him in the leg.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!" Alf fell to the floor grabbing her leg. Darrie shook his head at her in annoyance. Darrie walked over to the door pile. Alf, who was getting a piggyback from an apologetic Al, watched in fascination as Darrie took a doorknob, turned, pulled, and jumped in with the door closing behind him.

" EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Armstrong shrieked flexing his muscles as he did so.

" An he told me was break'n de rules! Look at tat!" Alf huffed in aggravation. Al darted to the door- now lying on the floor- and wrenched it opened. Nothing but the floor under it was seen through it. Suddenly there was a knock from the wall where the endless doors were. Armstrong wrenched the door open.

" Ano." Darrie grinned as he wiped some spaghetti of his cap.

* * *

" Why is this happening to me?" Roy asked the ladybug he had found on his train travels. He was sitting on a golden chair. The ladybug sat there. " I mean, why am I here? That one girl isn't here to let me get back to my humanity! So what can we do?" Roy asked the ladybug. The ladybug sat there. " You have any ideas?" Roy questioned hopefully. The ladybug sat there. " Of course you don't! You're just a stu-" 

" HIYA!" The ladybug grabbed Roy's wrist and proceeded to beat the Mustang out of him.

"Uncle! Uncle!" Roy bawled when the ladybug had him in an arm lock. The ladybug sat there. Roy tired to get up to his feet but the ladybug felt as though it was 300 pounds.

" Now lets talk business." The ladybug sat in a high-pitched voice.

" AAAAAAAAAAAAH! THAT'S TO WEIRD!" Roy screamed and wiggled.

" Got another girlfriend already?" Hughes asked as he walked through the door and wiped sweat from his face. Roy looked up at Hughes and glared.

" No." Roy retorted as he tried again to wiggle his way free.

"You do know you're tied up, right?" Hughes said and pointed to the ropes that had Roy's arms tied to his side.

" You do know you're dead, right?" Roy asked hesitantly. Hughes looked surprised. The ladybug sat there.

"Oh yeah… forgot about that." Hughes said smiling and scratching his head. The ladybug rolled its eyes.

" You aren't dead." The ladybug laughed haughtily.

" Am too."

" Are not."

" Am to."

" Prove it."

" Fine." Hughes took out a picture and shoved it in the ladybug's face. The ladybug sat there, and sat there, and sat there, and sat there. " See?"

" This doesn't prove you're dead." The ladybug said firmly.

" I know I just had to show you my little angel!" Hughes giggled and kissed the picture of his daughter Elicia. Then Hughes took a gun from his pocket and placed it a few inches from his head.

" Do it do it do it!" The ladybug cheered. Roy closed his eyes. There was a small click and Roy felt something suddenly hit his back lightly.

" There we go." Hughes smirked at the startled Roy.

" What did you just do?" Roy questioned. Hughes picked a plastic suction cup bullet, with a ladybug, knocked out, sticking to it, off of Roy's back.

" Tada! … Oh no, that look. You two weren't dating were you?" Hughes started to say more but Roy cut him off,

" HUGHES! Will you stop with that!"

" You're right."

" Always am."

" Uh huh… So why am I always rescuing you?"

" I could have handled it."

" You just got your butt handed to you by a ladybug." Hughes chuckled at the irritated colonel.

" It… I planned it to look like that…" Roy said starting to redden from embarrassment.

" So that's how you planned to break up with her? Kind of harsh." Hughes said as he dumped the ladybug in a trashcan. " You like my toy gun?"

" No, and will you stop with the-"

" Why do you always get the ugly ones you ask? Well I can tell you-"

" Hughes listen to me! I have to-"

" –Exactly why! You have that dorky haircut of yours that-"

" –Tell you… You think my haircut is dorky?"

" Sure do! It should be more like mine. I am the one with a wife after all."

" … Can you untie me so I can burn you to a crisp?"

" Absolutely dork."

* * *

" Get back here so I can transmute you into a fish!" Ed yelled as he chased -across the ceiling- Mr. Welings. The old man jumped around the ceiling singing a song about shrimp and dairy products.

"_Can't get shrimp to like my icy ice cream, mostly the blonde ones! They're so short, so tiny, so mini, so- so- UGLY! Can't get shrimp to eat my cheese, mostly the short ones! They're so dumb, and gassy you'll hope they'll pass ye before the day is done- done- DUMB_!" Mr. Welings jumped to the floor as Ed flung his fist at him.

" Argh, get over here now!" Ed tried to jump down to the floor but only ended up slipping in butter.

" Brother is that you?" Al asked from below. Ed looked down with a butterful face.

He had chased Mr. Welings through three cars. Now he was in one that had a stage, two rows of chairs, and spotlights. The room looked more like a small gym then a train car.

" Al, where have you been?" Ed called still lying in butter. Al shrugged.

" Long story."

" Same here."

" Herm? Edward Elric long time no see." Armstrong proclaimed while flexing on the stage.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?" Ed screamed. Mr. Welings snapped his fingers and Ed fell to the floor.

" Close your squeak gap." Mr. Welings told Ed in a grumpy voice.

_Oh, if he wasn't an old, dried out, man…_Ed stood up shakily. When he was on his feet he took out some letters. Al did the same.

" HUGHES!" Roy roared as he ran onto the stage from the door back stage. He stopped and watched Hughes climb up the curtain.

" Look at me I'm a monkey!" Hughes laughed childishly. Armstrong gaped at Hughes, blinked several times, rubbed his eyes, and looked again. Hughes waved at Ed and Al. They casually waved back. Armstrong burst into tears as he ran onto the stage and ripped the curtain down. Next thing Hughes knew he was in a bear hug.

_ Looks like I don't need to burn him to a crisp after all._ Roy, with those little blue lines on his face, smiled. Ed and Al were soon up on the stage trying to pry Hughes from Armstrong.

* * *

" Looks like they're having fun." Teyya sighed. " We're going to have to change that, won't we?" The ladybug sat there. " I think I'll go see them. You want to come?" Teyya asked. The ladybug sat there. " Well?" Teyya pinched the ladybug between two fingers and looked it in the eyes. The ladybug burst into tears.

" NO! I lost my Roy toy! WHAAA!"

" Okay… want to get him back?"

" Yeah, no one dumps Betty!" The ladybug laughed evilly. Teyya glanced at her wristwatch.

" We have to hurry then. So I'm sorry but your malevolence laughing needs to stop."

* * *

" Do you really think we had to knock him out?" Al asked Roy and Ed.

" YES." The two alchemists responded. Al sighed.

" Well, we do have some free time. Do you want to read any letters?" Al asked hopefully.

" No." Ed snapped back, Roy shrugged and got out his letters. Ed reluctantly gave Al his letters too. Roy did the same, not quite sure where this was going.

Dear Edo,

Do you celebrate Thanksgiving? Cause if you do, your celebrating the day that the Native Americans helped the pilgrims survive the long harsh winter, and then the pilgrims took their land and killed them. Aren't Americans nice? Hey! Uh, also: What is the name of your country? Or do you not know? One, two, that's three questions! One last question: For Nina Tucker. Like, you were mixed with a male dog, and you were female, so what are you.

Ellen Tee

Ed and Al glanced at each other.

" Well? Aren't you two going to answer?" Roy asked trying to hide his sympathy. Ed looked a little shaken but answered anyway.

" No idea what 'Thanksgiving' is… … ... For the 'do I think Americans are nice' question, from what I heard you say, no." Ed reread the letter somberly. " My country is called Edland."

" HAHAHAHAHA! You're to short to even sit on a throne!" Roy laughed. " How do you expect to rule a country when no one can see you?" Al had to hold Ed back from beating Roy to a pulp. " Our country is called Amestris. And soon I will be the King of it! And when I am I will fire all male solders, then all female workers will have to wear-" Roy kicked Ed over and used him as a foot stool. " TINY MINISKIRTS!" Al fell over from the stupidity and started laughing.

" Not if I become King first!" Ed roared as he pushed Roy off, stood up, and fiercely glared at Roy with a 'bring it on' smirk.

" That impossible Fullmetal."

" Why?"

" Because you'll be fired from the military long before you even get close."

" Yeah right slave."

" Oh ho? 'Slave', I don't think so!" Roy snapped at Ed. Nothing happened. Roy snapped softly and the room went dark.

" Great job colonel stupidity, now its dark!" Ed grumbled nastily.

" Why? Are you scared of the dark?" Roy said arrogantly. Ed jumped at the place he thought Roy was at but just ended up falling off the stage and on top of someone. The lights came back on.

" Ow… sorry I-" Ed stopped once he was off the person and sitting on his butt. He gaped at the little girl with long brown hair, which was back in two braids, her eyes were big and blue, and she was wearing a green and yellow flowered sundress. It was Nina. Her dog Alexander was trotting up the steps and onto the stage and sat on Al's lap. " …N- Nina? Nina is that you?"

" Oh, little big brother!" Nina chirped and gave an overly traumatized Ed a big hug. Meanwhile Alexander was licking an also overly traumatized Al. Roy and Hughes were gawking at what was happening. " We missed you so, so, so much!" Nina chatted in her childish voice. Ed didn't know what he should do. Nina let go of Ed and picked up the letter and read the last part.

" Nina? Alexander? Where did you come from?" Al asked as he, while holding Alexander, jumped to the floor next to Ed. The dog promptly hopped on Ed and began licking his face.

" Guess what. I learned how to read!" Nina giggled and continued to read. " I'm a girl silly Ellen! And Alexander is a boy." Ed finally got the huge dog off of himself and took a long look at Nina. She had died. Ed had been there. He saw what had happened. So why was she here now?

_Maybe… Maybe in this world people can be brought back to life!_ Ed turned to Al with a massive grin on his face. _Could Al be brought back to normal too?_ Ed turned back to Nina and Alexander. They were sure alive. By this time Hughes was down on the floor next to Ed.

" This is the girl that was killed by Scar, right?" Hughes asked seriously. Ed was grinning from ear to ear as he nodded.

" Big little brother!" Nina ran over to Al and hugged him. " Have you been eating good?"

" Y-yes. Have you?" Al asked the child timidly. Nina smiled.

" Yup! We have yummy meals every day!" Nina clasped her hands and began to tell Al all the new foods she had eaten. She was talking passionately about a kind of steak Al had never heard of before when she began looking transparent. The same thing was happening to Alexander.

" Nina what's going on?" Al asked dumbly. Nina looked at her hands.

" Are you okay?" Ed asked franticly. Nina giggled.

" I have to go now. Sorry that we couldn't play together… will you come and see me and Alexander?" Nina said brightly to Ed and Al, who were freaking out and trying to hold onto the two. Nina never got an answer because she was gone the next moment. The lights went out.

* * *

Next chapter Ed will do the chicken dance. I promise. –Sobs- NINA!

* * *

Fullmetal Alchemist

Dear (place name here)

Chapter 9

By Sakura Sagura

I already did the disclaimer. The reason I'm doing this is because I felt so bad about Nina I had to continue… (Readers need to imagin more than read in this chapter)

* * *

Ed didn't know why he wasn't crying. He wanted to. Maybe it was because too many people were around… in other words, Mustang.

" Brother," It was Al's confusedly grave voice. " I'm sorry."

" It's all right Al." Ed responded dazedly. Roy walked around in the dark looking for an emergency power switch. He felt his way to the curtain and then to the wall. He patted over the wall only to feel something he really shouldn't have.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAA-" A hand clasped over Roy's mouth. His nose was practically threatening to fall off.

" Shh, darling, shh." It was that creature. " Oh, its so dark! I'm scared!" It whispered and snuggled against the sweating Roy. He couldn't breathe with his mouth and he really didn't want to use his nose.

" Me think dis is it…" Someone said opening the door, which was right next to the two.

" Elp ee" Roy tried to say 'help me' but it didn't come out right.

" Whose there?" The creature asked agitatedly. The person didn't respond.

" Ano? Ano?"

" Aye. Roy that ya?"

" Mm." Roy wheezed through the grotesque hands. It was Alf and Darrie.

" Ano ano!" Darrie asked confused.

" Yeah, why ya an her?" Alf asked while trying not to laugh.

" Roy Mustang?" Someone asked in a whispered voice. The person sounded familiar but the face and name eluded him.

" Everything okay over there?" Hughes called.

" Nope! Roy an her is a duo." Alf called back. Darrie could be heard unlatching something and then there was a loud snap.

"Thanks Darrie…" The person thanked Darrie and stood up. " Hey, Gretchen. Let go of him."

" Why? He and I are in love! You can never separate-"

**-BoOoOoOoM-**

The creature/Gretchen fell to the floor in a shivering heap. Roy could feel it sink into the floor.

" Oh, that's nasty." Hughes grumbled as he wiped his foot on the wall. " What's going on? Did you find the light?"

" Ano." Darrie grabbed the switch and pulled down. The lights came back on.

-Awkward silence-

Roy, Ed, and Al all stared at the figure. It was a 14-year-old girl with curly dark gray hair, which was back in a braid, light gray eyes, a light gray color for skin, she was wearing a black long sleeve shirt with a short white jacket over it, black gloves, white pants with black trim, and black boots with white soles. It was Skaii Shii.

" Skaii? Skaii is that you?" Al inquired and stepped forward to get a better look. She nodded; face showing no expression, and walked passed the two brothers to the front of the stage. Skaii stood there a moment before looking at the ceiling. No one was sure if they should interrupt or not. She nodded and waved her hand for Darrie. He came running with a microphone on its stand. Darrie place it in front of Skaii. She grimly tapped it twice. Alf ran and jumped on off the stage. She did a roll onto her feet and waited.

" Connect it." Skaii stated in a depressed voice. Alf nodded and ran to the wall and flipped a switch and then another and then she twisted a knob. The room went dark, except for two spotlights that were shining on Skaii, and then a faint song began to play.

"La la le la lele la!" Alf skipped over to a chair in front of the stage and plopped herself down. Darrie made a final check on the microphone. After he made sure it was working he took Skaii's hand gently and guided her to the second row of seats. The two sat themselves down.

" Brother?"

" What?"

" I think its time."

" For what?" Ed asked in a confused manner. He stared at Al with his famous 'What are you talking about' face. Roy, Hughes, and the newly awakened Armstrong beamed evilly at each other.

" TIME FOR THE 'CHICKEN DANCE' SHORTY!" All four of them screamed/laughed at Ed as they pushed him out into the spotlight. The lights moved towards Ed. Ed could hear small bursts of laughter from behind him. That when Ed realized he was in a chicken costume…

" AAAAH! WHAT THE-?" Ed shouted as he grabbed at his attire. _Is she laughing? I_ _bet she is!_ Ed thought angrily, _I just know she's going to say something to really tick me off._ Ed turned towards Skaii with a hateful look plastered over his reddening face. Skaii was just sitting there with no color, no shine to her eyes, no emotion whatsoever. Ed felt a lurch in his stomach. _Is this why she wanted us to get off or…_

That's when the music started!

If you have the chicken dance turn it on

(Though this might be to fast or slow for the fanfic)

P.s. this is more for imaging what they look like doing this.

Ed couldn't control himself. It was as though the chicken suit had a mind of it's own… which it did. His hands were lifted up just across from his ears. His four fingers went up and down on his thumbs four times, then his hands went under his armpits and he flapped his elbows.

" Looking good brother!" Al called from behind Ed loudly. Ed heard his little audience, except Skaii, all erupt with laughter. Alf and Darrie were clapping and laughing loudly.

Then Ed's fists, which were covered with fake wings, went away from his armpits, rocked back and forth with his butt out, and his legs bent. Ed stood up straight and clapped his hands four times. A disco ball came down from the ceiling and the room was filled with spots of multicolored light.

" Hughes do you have a camera?" Roy asked mischievously. Hughes grinned and handed himhis belovedcamera. Roy scooted out on the stage a good 8feet from Ed and took aim with the camera. " Black mail!"

" What are you doing?" Ed asked blushing and turning towards Roy, who was snapping away. Ed then realized he had the perfect opportunity to humiliate the colonel. Ed ran over and grabbed Roy by the arm, making him drop the camera in the process, and dragged him out onto the stage. He took a quick glance to see if Skaii was smiling. Nope, she was still numb. He had to try. Ed just had a feeling that if he could make her smile…

" Fullmetal! WHAT ARE YOU-" Roy yelled in Ed's ear. Ed let the costume do all the work. He arm hooked Roy and proceeded to dance around in circles with him.

_I swear if they keep laughing like this I'm going to go deaf._ Ed thought while he purposely stomped on Roy's foot. The colonel let out a small yelp and stomped on Ed's foot back. Ed was going to kick him where it counts but the music changed and his hands, and Roy's too, went back to ear length. And the two started the dance all over. The flapping elbows were next, all the while Roy and Ed exchanged hits, then the rocking and butt shaking and knee bending, and then clapping.

" Take this shrimp-o!" Roy snapped his gloved fingers at the chicken clothed alchemist. Instead of flames Ed was draped with salt and pepper.

" Ah- ah- AHCHOOOOO!" Ed sneezed straight at Roy, who fell over from the blow. Ed glanced at Skaii, with snot still hanging from his nose, to see if she was laughing or not. _She isn't_ _even smiling!_ Ed thought franticly. He didn't have to look around to know everyone else was laughing his or her butts off. Roy sat up and glanced at Hughes. He was snapping pictures of him!

" Hughes what are you doing?" Roy shouted over his shoulder. Hughes gave Roy the peace sign and continued snapping.

_What do I have to do to make her smile? _Ed thought as the music died down, _there has to be_ _something…_ Then Ed remembered what Skaii had said he'd have to do because of some bet he'd lost. _No, I am not doing that!_ Ed could hear the conversation behind him.

" HAHAHHAHA! I can't believe brother and you did that!"

" Hrm, this will definitely promote you to higher ranks."

" HAHA! I'm putting these pictures with the ones of Elicia!"

" AH, listen to me! I, a colonel, am speaking to you! Now I command you to destroy those pictures of me. Though I don't mind you all keeping the ones with Fullmental in them."

" Don't forget, I am a Brigadier General now! That means you can't boss me around."

" Oh, Mr. Hughes you've been promoted?"

" Uh- well, yeah."

Ed realized that if he didn't get Skaii back to normal they would never go back home… though he could really care less if Colonel Sarcasm stayed. Alf and Darrie waited patiently with a black and white Skaii. She looked horrible, even for Skaii. Ed gulped hard and decided it was the only way. Ed took a deep breath and stridently said loud enough for everyone to hear,

"Skaii, I have something to tell you." Ed said blushing more and more with each passing moment. He could feel the awkward stares on him as he heard the noise suddenly stop. The disco ball was gone and everything was dark except for one spotlight on Ed and the one nowon Skaii. She looked up at him with her gray eyes. Her face was still cold and depressed. Ed took a big gulp and continued, " I just wanted to tell you," Ed stammered, " I had sometime to think about it and you are right." The room was eerily silent and Ed wanted someone to just start up a conversation so it would only be Skaii who could hear him.

**" I, Edward Elric, am the puniest shrimp in the world!"**

* * *

Finally, I'm done! Sorry that took so long. Hope you all enjoyed it. Now to start on chapter 10…

NEW POLL!

Should I have romance in this fanfic?

If so who and who? No pairings like EdRoy, EdAl, RoyAl, and so on!

Only Boy & Girl pairings

R&R


	9. Smile

**(?) FuLlMeTaL AlChEmIsT (?)**

_Dear (place name here)_

Chapter 10

_By Sakura Sagura

* * *

_

Disclaimer:

Ed: …

Skaii: …

All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!

Roy: Well that wasn't quite what I thought you'd say.

Ed: Stuff it Colonel Chicken!

Al: Oh come on brother, you know it was funny.

Hughes: Ed, want to see some pictures of-

Ed: No I do NOT want to see some pictures of your daughter!

Hughes: Well, I wasn't going to show you any of those to you anyway! I was just going to show you these, Puniest Shrimp in the world!

Ed: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH x2

Skaii: …

Al: We aren't own by anyone here.

Armstrong: I shall flex my beautiful mussels for you now!

All but Skaii and Armstrong: RUN AWAY!

Skaii: … I don't think I even want to own seafood like that.

* * *

It was an eerie quiet. Ed's face was now warmer than a burning ember as he stood up on stage looking down at Skaii. Everyone waited intently.

" Well, wha-what do you say to that?" Ed said stumbling over his words. Skaii's eyes were wide and her mouth was opened a little, but she still looked cold and numb as she stared at the embarrassed alchemist. Skaii's mouths twitched upward quickly then back to her frown. Ed held his breath, as did everyone else, and crossed his fingers slightly. Skaii felt a twinge in her stomach. It was like a bubbly feeling. Suddenly she was smiling and soon after that she started laughing! Her color was returning as well as she covered her mouth with her hands and her eyes started to tear. Ed felt relief wash over him. Darrie and Alf were smiling at Skaii. Roy and Hughes exchanged 'What is going on here?' looks. Al and Armstrong started laughing. Al was so sure his brother would never had said this but now…

" So the shrimp finally wised up!" Roy grinned and started laughing as well. Ed wasn't sure how much more he could blush.

" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Skaii clutched her stomach with one hand and with the other she wiped her coloring eyes. " I can't –haha- believe you di-did –hahahaha- that!" Skaii laughed.

" Way to go Fullmini!" Hughes called out. Okay now Ed couldn't take it anymore. His face was once again plastered with one of his famous 'WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!' looks. He charged at his little audience in the back and called out some pretty colorful language.

" Run away from the charging shrimp-o!" Roy shouted as he and everyone else with him jumped up and out of the way. Skaii, Darrie, and Alf watched in amusement as Ed chased the group across the stage several times.

_Thank you Edward… _Skaii smiled to herself. She was kind of tired from laughing so hard. _I'll have to thank you personally and greatly for this._ Skaii looked over her clothing.

" Ano ano ano?" Darrie inquired the displeased Skaii.

" Yeah I know I absolutely hate no color!" Skaii stood up on her chair. " It's almost as bad as my school uniform… and the energy sucking color." Skaii grumbled. Then she nervously snapped her fingers. For a second nothing happened then, to Skaii relief, her clothes changed. Skaii now had on a silky Chinese lime green blouse with long sleeves, darker green baggy pants, two dark green, almost black, Chinese shoes (do they have a real name?), light green wristbands, and a jade green backpack. " Much better." Skaii smiled. Darrie and Alf clapped with enthusiasm. Skaii bowed to them before jumping on stage. She jogged over to Ed, who was still in his chicken suit, and tripped him.

" What was that for?" Ed yelled and then said something to the floor.

" I can't hear you when your kissing the floor chicken shrimp."

" Oh yeah, real original! I go through all that trouble and this is how you thank me?"

" Is this how you want me to repay you?"

" Heck no! I want to go home!"

" … Well, why didn't you just say so?" Skaii asked as she bent over the glaring Ed. " I'll get you a transportation pass and you can leave tomorrow!"

" Really?"

" Do you think I mean it?"

" …No."

" There we go then." Skaii stood straight up and looked Ed over. " I like your choice of clothing. Very creative." Ed shot Skaii a death glare.

" I wasn't the one who choose it." Ed said harshly. Skaii gawked at him.

" Is that why your clothes are always so out there? What do you have some blind, retarded, fashion challenged guy picking out your clothes?" Skaii said this so seriously she had trouble keeping her giggles in afterwards. Ed swung at her feet with his left arm. Skaii tripped but before she hit the ground she disappeared in a puff of smoke.

" Did she explode?" Armstrong asked Roy who was looking under a curtain with his butt sticking out. Al glared at his brother a few feet away.

" Good going brother… Say, weren't you just trying to get Skaii back to normal?" Al softly asked his big brother. Ed rolled his eyes and stood up. But by the time he was brushing off his chicken legs he fell back to the ground.

" GAK!" Ed coughed. Skaii was sitting on his back eating a slice of pizza.

" Yummy! Anyone want some? How about you Ed? …Ed?" Skaii looked around the room. Alf and Darrie were chasing each other in between chairs, Armstrong was dragging out Roy from under the curtain while Hughes snapped pictures, and Al was standing next to Skaii. " Hey Al, you seen Ed?"

" Haha, no not recently!" Al chuckled. Skaii shrugged and moved her seating a bit.

" Man these chairs hurt. They're so lumpy… like shrimp puffs." Skaii mumbled. After saying this she fell over and landed on her head. Ed stood up and glared at Skaii with his mighty chickeness. " Wow, you know that outfit makes you look taller." Skaii said while rubbing her head. " Now you look about 4 inches tall!" At this Ed tried to jump Skaii but Al held him back.

"WHOAREYOUCALLINGSOSHORTTHATIFHEWASNEXTTOABABYCHICKTHEBIRD WOULDEATHIMBEFORESOMEONECOULDMEASURETHEM!" Ed screamed at the top of his lungs causing everyone to look his way. Skaii, who was still on her butt, closed her eyes and smiled,

" I forgot to thank you Edward. If you hadn't said that well…" Skaii trailed off. Al let go of Ed, who fell on his face, and squatted next to Skaii.

" So, are you alright now?" Al asked Skaii sincerely. Ed stood up and rubbed his aching chin. She smiled at Al and nodded her head,

" Yeah, thanks for worrying Al. Sorry for giving you guys such a scare though." Skaii looked down at her hand. Ed sighed fairly irritated and tapped Al's armor.

" Hey Al, I think you should go get those idiots over here so we can answer some letters." Ed said trying not to show he had bit his tongue. Al didn't argue. He got up and went over to get the 'idiots'.

" What happened?" Ed asked once Al was a good 4feet away.

" You know I told you we needed to get off the train."

" If you hadn't gone and force fed me that COW PEE that wouldn't of happened!"

" Not my fault you're weak."

" WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?"

"Did you find out about the train system?" Skaii asked with out even looking at Ed. He took a quick intake of breath.

" Yeah…"

" Horrible, huh?"

" Why do they do that?"

" It's a punishment." Skaii wouldn't make eye contact with Ed. He was about to ask her more but just then Al came walking back with a knocked out Hughes over his shoulder.

" He was trying to escape by climbing the curtain…" Al sighed. Armstrong flexed his mussels so that the ripped curtain fell from his shoulders to the floor.

" No need to thank me!" Armstrong said with sparkles floating around. Roy scooted away from him.

" Alright, lets answer them, shall we?" Skaii asked taking a letter out of Al's hand and read aloud,

Um, no.

Dear Roy or whoever wants to read this, but mostly Roy, yeah, that did not make any sense, but oh well. What would happen if someone mixed gasoline, oil, kerosene and any other flammable substance together and set it aflame? Would there be a huge explosion? I'm just wondering… By the way my friend named Emily loves you… She wants toxxxx you so badly and I will be killed for telling you her secret. Well, got to go hide. Bye

-Black Spell-

All eyes turned to a bewildered colonel who was blushing/smirking.

" So, you are going to answer her, right?" Ed asked Mustang. Skaii reread the letter to herself.

" Well what would happen if you mixed all of that together?" Al asked curiously and looked in Roy's direction. Then so did everyone else did too.

" What? What are you looking at me for?" Asked a bemused Roy who hadn't been listening but instead daydreaming about whoever 'Emily' was. Skaii looked disappointed and rolled her eyes,

" You have a narrow one track mind…" Roy gave Skaii a 'would you prefer to be sizzled or fried?' glace. " Or possibly, as I have known to see this come from Ed as well, you have no mind at all" It was such a good thing that Armstrong and Al were there to keep Skaii from getting burned and auto-mailed…

"Put me down this instant! I am a ranking military officer and I am a higher rank than you Major!" Shouted Roy who was in an arm lock from Armstrong. " Ah, Fullmetal I have an idea!"

" Wow, that's new." Ed struggled to say in between Al's side and arm.

" I'll let that pass this time… You remember what the letter said about that explosion combination?"

"Sure."

" Well I think we could test it out." Roy said waving his feet towards the ground. Skaii smiled and said,

" Are you going to say you two want me to explode?"

" Well, define 'explode'." Roy and Ed asked at the same time. Armstrong rolled his eyes, dropped Roy on the hard floor, used the colonel as a stepping stool, and cried,

" I, Alex Louis Armstrong the Strong-Arm Alchemist, would be most obliged to be able to answer your questions Colonel Mustang!" Since Roy wasn't able to breath he made no attempt to stop the muscular alchemist, and even though everyone else could breathe fine no one was insane enough to make the Major stop… " Yes, all of thoughs ingredients mixed together would make a great explosion! But, I'm sure Mustang would preferred to be loved above all else!"

" What idiots… who would want to get in the way when my Roy-toy and I are happily in love?"

* * *

Please review, you don't have to write a letter, and I ask that people don't send new letters for a while. We need to respond to the ones we had from the beginning still! So sad…

Sorry this small chapter took forever to get up…

By the way check out my other story-

**If I were you**

Its another FMA story! Go figure… See you later! (You'd be able to find it on my profile)


	10. Up again

Dear (place name here)

Chapter 11 (is that right?)

By SAKURASAGURA

Disclaimer:

Ed: Wow, took you forever and a half to update!

Skaii: Yup! I was going to take it down so you guys to go home but-

Ed&Al: YOU WERE?

Skaii: I don't own FMA.

Ed: Don't ignore me!

Al: Skaii?

Skaii: Enjoy!

Ed: No, don't en-

-Signal is cut off-

"What idiots… who would want to get in the way when my Roy-toy and I are happily in love?" All eyes turned to see Betty the ladybug sitting in Teyya's hand.

"Sorry to say but you little train ride needs to end." Teyya smirked. Everyone took a step back when Teyya drew out a gun.

"EVERYONE DUCK!" Skaii cried right before Teyya fired. The room was engulfed with pink. It was so horrible that Armstrong couldn't even flex his overly buff muscles. Betty glared at Teyya and then hit her in the back of her head. The pink went back inside the gun when Teyya tried to flick Betty away; instead she was bit by the annoying ladybug.

"What are you doing?"

"Don't you dare hurt my Roy-toy!"

"Shut up! I have to!"

"Do not."

"Too do!"

"You mean 'Do too', right?"

"No, I meant 'now let me kill them'!"

While they were fighting the little group sneaked out the door.

Skaii was in the lead with Al at her left and Ed at her right, Hughes floated happily next to Roy and Armstrong skipped behind them all with Darrie and Alf on his shoulders.

"Where are we going?" Ed asked hastily just after Skaii opened another car door. Skaii looked over her shoulder as she ran, jumping over a skateboarding piranha, and said happily,

"Ha ha, well to tell you the gloomy truth," She stopped and jumped onto a bronze ladder at the end of the car and started climbing it. The group of boys and Alf watched as she grabbed a wire and tugged the hidden door open. She climbed in and motioned for them to follow, saying awkwardly, "I'm not completely sure." Ed fell off the ladder and onto Darrie, who had just gotten to the floor.

"Anoooo" Darrie whined as Ed slumped back onto his feet with Al's help.

"Git a go'n!" Alf chattered while looking over her shoulder. The door at the other end of the car opened and, quite evilly, Betty walked in.

"Oh my Roy-toy, there you be!" She started scurrying; very fast for a ladybug, towards them. Roy freaked out and climbed over Ed and Hughes. Skaii took out her reddish-brown box and waited. The next person was Hughes. She smiled and asked,

"Want a free camera?"

"You bet!"

"Okay then, put your whole body into this box."

"Is this a contest?"

"Uh, well-"

"Here Ed!" He grabbed the shorty who was making sure Darrie got on the ladder with out falling. Hughes declared quickly, "I shall verse you, Ed, in the 'get in the box before the other guy does' contest!" Ed glared at Skaii with a sweet drop on the side of his head.

"Did you-"

"Nope, not this time." Skaii said casually. Alf climbed up and sat next to a shivering Roy. Armstrong was half way through by the time Hughes stopped bragging about how he'd use the camera. "Okay, okay. Go." Skaii ordered. Hughes grabbed Ed by the braid and jumped in the small reddish-brown box. Now Ed and Hughes were gone.

"What? Edward Elric and Maes Hughes, I and my muscles shall save thee!" Armstrong dove into the box as well.

"This thing is getting heavy…" Skaii complained her face a bit angry. Roy looked at Skaii with wide eyes.

"Take me too!" He cried and jumped at the box. He would of got in if Al hadn't shoved his way through the small opening and blocked his way, thus giving Roy a concussion.

"Al, I wanted to do that…" Skaii complained. Al said sorry as he shut the hidden door so Betty couldn't get in. Suddenly Al realized that Ed was gone.

"Where's brother?" Alf and Darrie pointed to the box.

"Hughes pulled Ed in with him." Skaii replied defensively. Al grabbed Skaii, shook her back and forth, yelling at her to bring Ed back.

"Hee hee, can't catch me!" A fork and spoon giggled as a cat chased them with a fiddle. The four remaining stared blankly at the activity. The utensils opened the hidden door and jumped. The cat jumped as well after bowing to the confused spectators.

"Heh, you really believed you… could get rid of me?" Betty wheezed as she flattered onto the wooded floor.

"Well, to tell you the truth I did." Skaii said in a matter of fact tone.

"Me too." Alf said while readjusting her bonnet.

"Ano, ano ano." Darrie laughed as he blushed and scratched the back of his head.

"Sure, why not? I did think we could get away." Al sighed. Betty gaped at them. The ladybug sat there… in shock.

"Good job guys! Let's go." Skaii grinned and walked down the darkening passage. Al shrugged and walked away from the ladybug while holding Alf and Darrie's hands.

They walked up a stairway or two, Al vaguely wondering how tall the train was, they knocked down a couple of door, jumped over a burning pit of death (all riding on top of Al), wrestled down a crying gooses, that was saying something about her children, and asked for directions. And it all happened in a minute or two before Skaii stopped them.

"Ano?" Darrie asked slowly. Skaii nodded, dropped the gooses, and took off her backpack, unzipped it, and started digging. Al watched as she leaned farther and farther in.

"Skaii, what the…" Al helplessly goggled as Skaii stuck herself, all the way from her waist up, into her unmoving backpack.

"She be look'n fer de key." Alf explained gazing up at Al's flustered armor face.

"But how is she doing that?" Al questioned the ashen child. Alf looked over at Darrie. They nodded at each other. Alf grabbed Al's giant hand with both of hers and looked up pleadingly.

"Imagination." Alf replied sadly. Al looked from Skaii feet that were sticking out of her bag, and back to the children.

"You mean like with alchemy." He wondered aloud. Darrie shook his head

"A…no. No." He said trying hard to figure out how to say more, but couldn't.

"Darrie no 'alk no mer cause he was a use'n imagination." Alf said in a low voice while looking down at her dirty feet. "Pa and ma wa' take'n cause I… be sinning." Alf choked back tears. Al was mystified at these words. He was about to ask more when Skaii started to come out of the backpack. She was wearing orange goggles with the breathing thingy, a blue swimsuit, and her dark Chinese shoes. She was dripping wet with what looked like mustard. She snapped and she was in a clean outfit. She looked as though she was going to go thieving.

"I found the key! It was right in the mustard eating mailbox!" Skaii laughed as though she had done it a million times. Alf wiped her tears away and helped Skaii to the brick door. Skaii stuck the key in and turned it, unlocking the door, and then took it back out.

"Ye be want'n to back yer up." Alf said gleefully as she ran to hide behind Al with Darrie.

"Oh, before we do that here Al." Skaii tossed a letter at Al. It read,

Pink Ish the Spawn of Satan 

_Dear Ed and Al,_

_You're so short, an ant could step on you and you wouldn't get squished because you'd fit between the grooves of his tennis shoes. Do you care that I named a red Teddy bear after you::Hugs Edo Bear:_

_:Gives Alphonse some Basic I (industrial strength cleaner, it works great): There!_

_:Gives Ed a purple shirt and purple pants to replace the bean outfit: Do you like purple? Because I love purple. Purple purple purple._

_:Gives Alphonse a giant meat tenderizer (like a mallet but with spikes): Bonk Skaii and Ed on the head with this when they get to stupid, okay?_

_Your Otaku,_

_Kristi-chan-no-baka and Edo-no-tedi-bea-chan_

"You're going to hit me with what?" Skaii asked a bit frightened. Suddenly a purple bottle appeared in Al's right hand and in his left a giant meat tenderizer.

"Yay! Hold on… where were you guy all that time ago?" Al started talking to his gifts.

"I need to save this for Edward…" Skaii chuckled wickedly. She ended up coughing and snapping herself some water.

"Hey Skaii,"

"What?" Before Skaii knew it a painful meat tenderizer was squishing her. Al lifted it up off her with ease.

"There, I got that out of my system now." He laughed as though it was nothing. "Say, what about Ed?"

"He'll get his stuff when he reads the letter…" Skaii said, once she was up and sitting on her butt, Al sighed and looked at the door.

"Are we going?" Skaii shook her head.

"Not yet Al." With that she handed him another letter.

_Dear Alphonse,_

_Since Edward rejects every girl who likes him, would you like to be my Boyfriend? You're so sensitive. Just what a girl wants!_

_Ellen Tee_

"AAAAH!" Al dropped the letter. He placed both hands over his metal face.

"Al…? What's wrong with you?" Skaii asked worriedly. Al gazed at the ceiling. There was a moment of silence before he cried out,

"YES, YES I WILL BE YOUR BOYFRIEND!" Skaii, Darrie, and Alf watched as Al danced for joy.

Sorry I didn't update in forever. I was debating whether or not I should rewrite, continue, or take it all down. I suppose you're all happy.

Ed: NOPE.

Al: Not really.

Skaii: Eh, so so.

Me: Ungrateful little…

Ed: You want to fight?

Me: Bring it on!

YAY! Happy dance day! Whooohooo!YAY!


End file.
